These telltale signs will let you know that he's interested in you! Ever wonder if the cute guy at your office is flirting with you or just being Mr. Nice Guy?
Sometimes the signals guys send can leave us totally confused, but chances are if he's showing most of these below, then you have yourself an admirer!
1. Eye contact
If he's looking straight into your eyes every time you talk it's probably not because you have a fallen eyelash or your mascara is running. Steady eye contact shows he's completely focused on you and really listening to what you have to say.
2. Leaning into you
When there's no attraction between two people, they keep a safe distance between their bodies. But if you find your suspected crush leaning in closer when you have a one on one conversation it's a sign he's into you and wants to get closer.
3. The magic touch
Gentle touches on the arm or back are a sure sign a guy's into you unless he's just a touchy-feely guy with just about everyone. Touching shows intimacy and that's what he's looking for, so the next time your hands brush at the photocopier remember he could be sending you a sign.
4. Funny to meet you here
Coincidence it may be -- but a guy just happens to keep showing up at places you hang out (and you hadn't seen him there until recently) it's probably not an accident. Take advantage and strike up a conversation to find out what's up.
5. You're oh-so funny
You may think you have a great sense of humour and tell awesome jokes, but normally you don't even get a snicker out of you friends with your jokes. But this one guy loves them and laughs every time -- he could be crushing on you and your funny bone.
6. His friends know about you
Maybe your admirer is just an acquaintance -- so chances are you don't know his friends too well. But, if his friends seem to know about you and your likes/dislikes it means he's been talking about you -- a lot.
7. He's chumming it up with your friends
In an effort to get to know more about you -- your secret crush may want to get chummy with your pals. If he's sending you other signs plus this, he's likely totally into you.
8. He really listens to you
He seems to remember every little detail -- you told him months ago you like your latte made with soy and a dash of cinnamon -- in an office meeting. Now he's bringing you a soy latte when he does a coffee run -- complete with the dash of cinnamon.
9. He's totally nervous around you
Guys pride themselves on being confident -- except when they are head over heels for a woman. So if you notice him getting nervous or flustered around you he could be worried about not making a good impression on you.
10. He wants to be on your team
Whether it's a team or group for the office, or a team of friends playing tag football, if he always wants to be on your team (or picks you first) it could be a sign that he's into you -- so play along, who knows what will happen!
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2010-03-10
10 signs he's into you
2010-02-13
Rules about Online Dating
My personal pet peeve: men who lie about being single. Nothing is more infuriating than a man desperate to break in a new kitten. Signs to look for include:
- Picture-less profiles: married men don’t want to be ID’d by their friends or *gasp* their wife.
- Harried and hurried emails, demanding to meet TONIGHT: he’s got a 2 hour window while his wife is out with the girls and needs to fill it.
- The conversation ALWAYS leads to sex: it’s all he’s got on his mind and he doesn’t care who it comes from.
- He loves and needs and wants and has to have you. Oh yeah, I bet he’s falling for you and is half-way to *ahem* divine inspiration.
- He gives you detailed instructions which include not leaving voicemails, not calling at certain hours, failure to even disclose a phone number, a warning that he may disappear for a while, and a request for naughty pictures up front, given that he has to delete them quickly.
- Cheating married men are slimy and hardly worth a single girl’s time. Why take half of a half of a half of something, when you can have it all without the drama?
- Married women are in the same category, but why repeat myself?
2. No Penis Pics
Holy God this shouldn’t even have to be mentioned. First of all, most of these pictures aren't even artfully taken. Second of all, these penises are often nothing to be proud of. I can attest that I’ve been visually raped more times than I can count and, adding insult to injury, the offending parties didn’t even grace me with an erection. There is nothing pleasing about a flaccid unit. What, am I supposed to pet it and serve it dinner? Men, women do not want to see a picture of your penis or your "boys". Just because you don’t have a job or a life, and spend hours online pleasuring yourself to equally aimless and spineless women who having nothing else to do than show off their pancake-like sweater puppies, doesn’t mean the rest of us are panting to see your junk. It’s like penis pics and boobs have replaced “Hi, how are you?” “Fine, thank you, and yourself?”
Penis: ‘sup, baby? Wanna get some? Get at me!
Boob: oh you know it, baby, I gots to get me some of that!
STD-ridden sex ensues and we have yet one more generation of idiots, setting evolution back a few steps once and for all. Please, for the good of the species, do not send over your penis pics.
3. Be Safe - Have a Double Life
Meet in a public place. Not his place. Not your place. A public, well-lit and moderately populated place.
- Don’t divulge the contents of your TRW. Your address, your work address, your bank and every other piece of confidential information can be used in a myriad of ways to compromise your safety. This is common sense, but you never know.
- Don’t go back to their place. I don’t care how safe you think they are. I don’t care if you feel the need to screw right then and there. You don’t know a person after a few hours, minutes or seconds of meeting.
- Use a free email account. When it progresses to private email transmissions, use a free anonymous account, so that your last name isn’t readily available.
- Stick with paid dating services. You get what you pay for and it’s pretty safe to assume that if you have to pay for it, typically the low-life population gets weeded out.
- Limit the alcohol. It impairs your judgment. Period.
- Let someone else know where you’re going to be. Make sure a friend knows where you’re going and what time you’ll be there. Provide them with all of the other persons information as well. That way the cops will have something to go on when your friend files a missing persons report.
4. Know You Are Not the Only One
This isn’t Highlander, there can be more than one. Only the ignorant and the arrogant believe they are the only ones playing the game. Given how dating sites are designed, you’ll never know how many are in line before you. If the woman you are interested in is extremely attractive and you know for a fact that she’s being pursued by every other tool on the totem, you need to do something that makes you stand out. Try speaking up and speaking out.
Cut straight to the chase: "When may I meet you?"
Be Interesting and Funny, But Don't Write An Essay
Surefire way to sit on the back burner: "So, yeah. I’m interested. Tell me about yourself."
Asking someone to tell you something fascinating about them makes you look lazy and stuck-up. It says you think you’re too good to volunteer any information and too lazy to ask an actual question. If you were truly interested, you wouldn’t waste her time by asking her something so generic. She’ll know you’re sending that email to every other girl and you will be instantly dismissed from her court. Anyone can ask a boring question, but it takes true style to say something really cool.
Example: "I had a next-door neighbor with your name. She was 80 yrs old, grumpy and smelled suspiciously like rotten grapefruit. So I’m glad I found you on here. Even if we never speak to each other, you’ve erased a traumatic memory with a very classy, very tasteful, very beautiful visual. Thank you for that."
It’s funny and she won’t be able to resist asking you for the story of your neighbor.
5. No Old Pictures - Look Like What You Look Like
Putting up a picture and a brief line: "just lookin’ for a honey to spend some time wit" is not the best course of action. For best results, try to adhere to the following:
- Use a CURRENT picture. Not one that’s 10 years old or even 5 years old. Because when you meet, they’ll know who you REALLY are.
- Don’t brag about who you are. I’m sure you’re very interesting and fascinating, but it will become very clear that you are already in a love affair: with yourself.
- Use proper grammar & punctuation. It matters and if a person is too lazy to focus on what they’re saying, then they’ll be even less focused on what YOU’RE saying.
- Be HONEST about your circumstances. Be HONEST about your goals. Be HONEST about your agenda. Be honest about who the heck you are and what the heck you’re looking for.
- Don’t parade the fact that you’re financially successful. It makes you look like a snob and you’ll only attract other snobs or gold-diggers.
- Don’t wear self-pity like it’s a warm, hand-knitted sweater. So you’re divorced. So you just got dumped. So what? If you choose to put yourself out there, then you’re stating that you’re ready to date. Ergo, don’t become the Swamps of Sadness that everyone has to steer clear of. Leave your drama where it belongs – at home, under the floorboards, bound and gagged. There’s nothing noble about wallowing in self-pity. It only makes you look pathetic.
- Your profile is an extension of you and is the resume for your personal life. Make it good.
6. Be Gentle
Some may not believe that this is important, but when your desires are not reciprocated, there is a proper way to deal with it. If your mental SOS isn’t immediately picked up by your date, let them down gently.
Not Acceptable:
- "Crap, I forgot to feed my dog before I left!" You both know Rover isn’t starving.
- "I’ve got a bunch of errands to run after this." Doesn’t work, no matter what the hour is.
- "Whoops, look at that *checking cell phone*. I gotta run but it was great meeting you! We’ll do this another time?" Yeah, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
- "I just don’t feel up to really DATING anyone right now." So why am I here?
Acceptable:
- "Hey, so thanks for the coffee/drink/dinner. I had a great time, but I really should be going. I hope you have a great evening. Good Night.
- It IS acceptable to arrange a decoy phone call. It gives you an out and you don’t have to lie. Just try not to go over the top with your dramatic exit.
- Even if you’re not interested, you still should spend 20-30 minutes with this person before escaping. Then you go home and draft an email:
- "Thank you again for meeting me. I enjoyed hearing about _____ and ______. While I did enjoy meeting you, I didn’t really feel that strong a connection with you. Please don’t take offense to this." You’ve done nothing wrong. Good luck with the site and be safe!
7. Act Your Age - Do Not Lie
- There are various unspoken rules in our society. Always bring flowers to Moms house, wash after you wipe, 2 parts to 1 makes perfect rice and you never lie about how you look.
- This includes uploading pictures of you wearing your 10th grade cheerleader uniform when you graduated 15 years ago.
- This means you don’t send a picture of your ripped, surfer 27 yr old son and call it an accident.
- This means you don’t list 20 shots of you in the same room, wearing the same shirt, shooting from the same 10 feet up angle, with 20 different facial expressions and calling it “random.”
- This means you don’t pimp out your hotter, younger sister because, in reality, you’re a 300lb shut-in who hasn’t thought past phase 1 and fails to realize that when you do meet face-to-face, the conversation will be short and sweet.
- "I didn’t think you’d go out with me because of how I looked." You were right.
- Don’t type "I’m 45 years young!" Why men do this is beyond me. You’re still 45 and now, you’re officially trying too hard.
- Don’t type "You’re only as old as you feel!" I have the energy of a 12 yr old. Still want to date me?
- Don’t type "I’m 50 but I look 30!" Never, ever apologize for your age, unless you’re 16.
- Don’t be carrying 100 extra big ones, be pushing retirement and have no sense of humor and then declare you will only date girls if they come gift wrapped and carrying their own stuffed toys. Sicko.
2010-02-06
Sex myths and facts
If a condom breaks, there's nothing you can do - false!
If you're female and the condom has split, even if it's before your partner has ejaculated, seek emergency contraception.The emergency contraceptive pill (morning after pill) must be started within 72 hours of sex. The IUD (coil). Must be fitted within five days after sex. Both are available from your doctor or GUM clinic (contact your local hospital for details). Emergency contraception is not an option to be considered before sex. It is exactly what is says: a last resort should your main form of contraception fail.
All guys hate using condoms - false!
The only guys who WON'T use condoms are those with no respect for you. Don't rely on a lad to provide condoms. If you're considering sex then take responsibility for yourself. Get clued up about contraception and safer sex.Men want sex more than women do.
Wrong. The reason why men tend to wishfully prod their penises into our determinedly turned backs, isn't just to do with desire.African-American men have bigger penises.
Okay, this one's a bit out of left field, but fascinating nonetheless because, guess what: It's true! African-American guys are bigger, and their penises are thicker, too. One study of Asian, Caucasian and African-American men came up with the following stats: Asian men were smallest, averaging 4-5.5 inches, Caucasians came next with 6 inches, and the penises of African-American men are reportedly 6.5-8 inches long.Missing one pill doesn't matter - false!
The contraceptive pill should be taken at the same time each day, but is regarded as "missed" if it is taken more than 12 hours late (three hours late for the mini-pill, although with the mini pill Cerazette you have a 12-hour window). If you are late in taking your contraceptive, take a pill as soon as you can, then another at the usual time, (even if this means taking more than one pill in one day).It's safe to have sex as soon as you're on the pill - false!
Different types of contraceptive pill take different times to kick in. This can range from 0-14 days. Always follow the instructions prescribed with your type of pill, and use an additional form of contraception such as condoms during the time it takes for your choice of pill become effective.2009-02-24
Why do men have nipples?
Like all "why" queries, the question of why men have nipples can be addressed on many levels.
My four-year-old daughter, always suspicious of a trick when asked such obvious questions, answered: "because they grow them."
In search of the trick answer, she quickly added that "chests would also look pretty funny with just hair."
Evolutionary biologists, whose job it is to explain variety in nature, are often expected to provide adaptive explanations for such "why" questions. Some traits may prove—through appropriate tests—to be best explained as adaptations; others have perfectly good evolutionary, but nonadaptive, explanations. This is because evolution is a process constrained by many factors including history, chance, and the mechanisms of heredity, which also explains why particular attributes of organisms are not as they would be had they been "designed" from scratch. Nipples in male mammals illustrate a constrained evolutionary result.
A human baby inherits one copy of every gene from his or her father and one copy of every gene from his or her mother. Inherited traits of a boy should thus be a combination of traits from both his parents. Thus, from a genetic perspective, the question should be turned around: How can males and females ever diverge if genes from both parents are inherited? We know that consistent differences between males and females (so-called sexual dimorphisms) are common--examples include bird plumage coloration and size dimorphism in insects. The only way such differences can evolve is if the same trait (color, for example) in males and females has become "uncoupled" at the genetic level. This happens if a trait is influenced by different genes in males and females, if it is under control of genes located on sex chromosomes, or if gene expression has evolved to be dependent on context (whether genes find themselves within a male or a female genome). The idea of the shared genetic basis of two traits (in this case in males and females) is known as a genetic correlation, and it is a quantity routinely measured by evolutionary geneticists. The evolutionary default is for males and females to share characters through genetic correlations.
The uncoupling of male and female traits occurs if there is selection for it: if the trait is important to the reproductive success of both males and females but the best or "optimal" trait is different for a male and a female. We would not expect such an uncoupling if the attribute is important in both sexes and the "optimal" value is similar in both sexes, nor would we expect uncoupling to evolve if the attribute is important to one sex but unimportant in the other. The latter is the case for nipples. Their advantage in females, in terms of reproductive success, is clear. But because the genetic "default" is for males and females to share characters, the presence of nipples in males is probably best explained as a genetic correlation that persists through lack of selection against them, rather than selection for them. Interestingly, though, it could be argued that the occurrence of problems associated with the male nipple, such as carcinoma, constitutes contemporary selection against them. In a sense, male nipples are analogous to vestigial structures such as the remnants of useless pelvic bones in whales: if they did much harm, they would have disappeared.
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2008-12-20
6 Sex Myths as Explained by Science
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It's hard to find out the truth about sex, because when we talk about it, we're usually lying.
So every dude has a nine-inch dong, and pouring a Red Bull on your ass before sex will totally prevent pregnancy.
Luckily scientists are working tirelessly to sort through all the "facts" about sex you learned from porn and your pals in the locker room.
6. Beer Goggles
The Conventional Wisdom
You're out with some buddies at the bar, and it's getting late and, let's face it, you're shitfaced. Suddenly, you're the best dancer in the room and you're noticing something wonderful: This is the sexiest fucking club on the planet!
You're looking good, the women are looking good and you're a bit confused by the fact that even that guy at the bar is looking pretty damn fine too. The next morning, you roll over to find that you are face to face with a wrinkly sea of back fat featuring the largest tattoo of Satan you have ever seen.
Science Shows...
As it happens, beer goggles are a real live scientific phenomenon. Scientists tested a group of 84 British students with some lime-flavored drinks. Some of those drinks were non-alcoholic, some were spiked with vodka to get the subject good and sauced. We like to think they served these drinks in beakers and graduated cylinders, in true nerd fashion.
In a laboratory simulation of 'cruising for chicks on Facebook after downing a six pack,' the scientists chowed the college students photos of both males and females and had students play the scientific method's first documented instance of would you rather. What they discovered was that the students with the spiked drinks found the people in the photos more attractive--even the heterosexual students looking at people of their own gender.
So the good news is if you're a dude who dreams of going out to the bar and winding up as some hot chick's drunken mistake, you've got a chance. The bad news is, the same scenario could lead to the burly arms of some dude who looks like Ed Asner.
5. Chicks Dig the Car
The Conventional Wisdom
Most of the auto industry's sales come from this long-held assumption of frat boys everywhere: the nicer the car, the better your chances with the ladies.
If you think you're going to pick up a woman in a beat up hatchback, then you'd better listen to those Free Credit Report guys, because as their catchy jingle says, women won't give you the time of day if you drive a '98 Daewoo.
Science Shows...
The Free Credit Report guy is right.
A British insurance company called Hiscox (seriously?) conducted the study. They found when female subjects heard the roar of a Maserati's engine, they went to their happy place down south. Out of the 40 women who participated in the study, every last woman reported getting that tingly sensation from the sports car.
So maybe you're thinking that being "green" and "economically responsible" might turn some women on, right? After all, chicks dig a guy who cares about the earth! Well, not so much. The study also concluded that not only were both guys and chicks turned completely off by the sound of a VW Polo, but it actually lowered everyone's testosterone level.
So when you're rolling around in the Volkswagon or Prius and some frat boy named Tyler calls you a pussy, sadly he's actually got science on his side.
4. Sex Makes Men Sleepy
The Conventional Wisdom
Ladies, you've just had a passionate roll in the hay with your significant other (or drunken mistake). Since you're a girl, all you want to do after sex is cuddle and talk about marriage and missing your period. But when you roll over, he's already snoring into his pillow!
Anyone who's ever seen a female stand-up comedian has heard this story. He just wants to shoot his wad and doze off, probably immediately after leaving the toilet seat up! Am I right ladies? It fits in nicely with the stereotype that men don't care about romance, and that women are emotionally needy. But it's just a cliche, right?
Science Shows...
Actually no. There's a scientific reason men fall asleep after sex. It's not their fault.
According to experts, an orgasm literally changes a man's body chemistry. Combine that with the physical exertion of sex and chances are that most dudes will go down like they were hit with a tranquilizer dart.
So please, ladies, stop treating it like a personality flaw. And don't let him have sex with you if he's also flying a helicopter at the time.
3. She Likes the Way You Move
The Conventional Wisdom
Supposedly, having some sweet dance moves like the Typewriter or a hot looking Moonwalk, will get chicks on your junk faster than you can say "Electric Slide."
Of course, the opposite holds true as well. If you've got the rhythm of an epileptic monkey then the odds are you're leaving the club alone.
Science Shows...
A researcher in England named Dr. Peter Lovatt spent many nights in dance clubs observing how women reacted to dancing guys, probably in hopes of picking up some pointers. What Dr. Lovatt (who followed in the footsteps of such great minds as Sir Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein in transitioning to science from the world of professional dance) discovered was that by mimicking those sexy Saturday Night Fever moves of John Travolta, you (he?) will stand a better chance of getting laid.
After first creepily watching guys dance at clubs from afar, the doctor increased the creepiness factor and filmed himself dancing many of those same styles, and then showed the videos to 55 women, who voted on which moves were the most attractive.
Later he figured he might as well make a science experiment out of it and shared his results with the world. Presumably because he could not handle all of the boobage that came his way after that video made the rounds.
2. Stay Away from Your Hot Cousin Unless You Want Deformed Flipper Babies
The Conventional Wisdom
If there's anything we can learn from our history lessons, it's that years and years of inbreeding leads to bad things. Just look at the royal families, where Charles II of Spain was thought by many people to be mentally retarded due to generations of inbreeding, or Prince Charles, who wound up with those terrifying ears.
Science Shows...
After 30 years of extensive research, which we assume involved spiking the punch bowls at many a family reunion and studying the shenanigans as they unfold, scientists in Western Australia have concluded that most babies born to first cousins are just as healthy as others.
If you're wondering why they felt the need to conduct this study in the first place, it's because the practice is remarkably common, at least by most standards, in that part of the world.
In Western Australia, there are at least 500 marriages between first cousins, and many more throughout the world (we're looking at you, West Virginia), making this research essential if we're ever to thwart any X-Men-style mutant uprising that could result.
1. Jocks Get All the Girls
The Conventional Wisdom
If we can learn anything from countless classic 80s movies and television shows, it's that rich kids and jocks get all the girls. Oh sure, every once in awhile a nerd from Lambda Lambda Lambda can steal the starting quarterback's woman, but more often than not you're going to end up being the Duckie to some pretty boy's Andrew McCarthy.
Science Shows...
Well we've got good news, Poindexter. Despite lacking the social skills and rugged good looks of your athletic counterparts, it turns out that chicks really do dig brains over brawn.
At least, that's what this study has concluded. As it turns out, it doesn't matter if a woman wants a long term relationship or just a little fling. The common denominator (that one's for you, dorks!) in what a woman really wants is a dude with a high IQ. No, seriously.
Using a series of tasks that apparently combined Survivor with Mr. Wizard, researchers filmed 15 different men ranging in intellect and athleticism and then showed those videos to 200 college-aged women. The men would then be judged based on perceived intelligence, creativity and the ability to do physical tasks like catching a Frisbee and kickboxing.
What the studies showed was that, more often than not, the creativity and overall braininess of these potential Dating Game-style suitors won out over simply being good looking. Now don't get us wrong, the study also showed that women still preferred guys who were the best of both worlds, being smart while still bearing an uncanny resemblance to Zack Morris.
We should also point out the study was carried out by scientists who were almost certainly nerds themselves. So maybe we shouldn't be surprised if the next study is called, "An Analysis of the Prevalence of Enormous Genitalia Among Scientists (and We Do Mean Enormous, Ladies)".
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Why is life expectancy longer for women than it is for men?
Men dying sooner than women makes sense biologically: because 105 males are born for every 100 females, it would assure that there are about the same number of men and women at reproductive ages.
But even though women showed a longer life expectancy in almost every human society in the last decade of the 20th century, the size of the advantage varied greatly.
For example, in the U.S. male life expectancy was 73.4 years for males and 80.1 years for females, a difference of 6.7 years, whereas in France it was 7.8 years and in the U.K., 5.3 years. The discrepancy was much greater in some countries, with the difference in Russia reaching more than 12 years, but in others, such as India (0.6 year) or Bangladesh (0.1 year), it was much less.
The diversity in worldwide longevity alone indicates that the difference in mortality between the sexes is not purely biological and that there are intervening social factors. The current range of situations actually reflects different stages of a three-part historical evolution. Women most probably have a biological advantage that allows them to live longer, but in the past--and in several places, still today--the status and life conditions of women nullified this benefit. Today, given the general progress in female life conditions, women have not only regained their biological advantage, but have gone much beyond it, both because they tend to engage in fewer behaviors that are bad for health than men do and because they better profit from current advances in health care and living conditions.
The biological advantage that women have is taken as a certainty, because the mortality of males is higher than that of females from the very outset of life: during the first year of life, in the absence of any outside influence which could differentiate mortality between the sexes, male mortality is 25 to 30 percent greater than is female mortality. The genetic advantage of females is evident. When a mutation of one of the genes of the X chromosome occurs, females have a second X to compensate, whereas all genes of the unique X chromosome of males express themselves, even if they are deleterious. More generally, the genetic difference between the sexes is associated with a better resistance to biological aging. Furthermore, female hormones and the role of women in reproduction have been linked to greater longevity. Estrogen, for example, facilitates the elimination of bad cholesterol and thus may offer some protection against heart disease; testosterone, on the other hand, has been linked to violence and risk taking. Finally, the female body has to make reserves to accommodate the needs of pregnancy and breast feeding; this ability has been associated with a greater ability to cope with overeating and eliminating excess food.
Even though many biological and genetic factors have been identified, their overall effect is impossible to measure, especially given the influence of social factors on mortality. The extraordinary economic and social progress that has occurred since the 18th century has been accompanied by a dramatic reduction of the social differences between men and women and of the burden of motherhood, which had previously negated women's biological advantage. But the recent mortality trends have gone much farther than the mere recovery of an original advantage, creating instead a new advantage of greater magnitude for women. Observations indicate that the growing excess male mortality in industrial countries could be explained by the rise of so-called "man-made diseases," which are more typically male. These include exposure to the hazards of the workplace in an industrial context, alcoholism, smoking and road accidents, which have indeed increased considerably throughout the 20th century.
French demographer Jacques Vallin has long been monitoring longevity in general and sex differences in mortality in particular. He adds to the above an interesting explanation of women's current mortality advantage that could explain the more recent trends: the dramatic increase in excess male mortality emerged as an equally dramatic progress in the general health conditions of our societies was taking place. He thus argues that beyond the negative behavioral or environmental factors that affect men more than they do women, there could be very well be a more fundamental difference in lifestyles that allows women to better benefit from the general progress in health. For example, although women now participate massively in the work force, their roles remain different and their professional activities are, on average, less prejudicial to their health. In addition, women often relate to their bodies, their health and their lives in general in a much different way than men do.
To caricature, women seek beauty, men seek strength and power; thus, a woman's body must remain young and healthy as long as possible, whereas a man's body must be submitted to risks and challenges from an early age. The result is that women, much more than men, are attentive to their bodies and their needs and often carry on deeper dialogs more easily with their doctors. Hence, women, being more inclined to take care of their bodies and to prolong their lives, may be better able to glean greater profit from modern medical and social advances by practicing activities that are healthier and better protect their bodies. In this context, women's biological advantage now appears relatively minor in the total mortality differences between the sexes.
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2008-12-06
History's 10 Most Terrifying Contraceptives
The three most terrifying things in the world are werewolves, clowns and unplanned pregnancy.
Humanity has known this since time began and as such has endeavored to make sure the last one of these would happen as infrequently as possible.
When you combined extreme motivation, human ingenuity and the fact that most people are stupid, you wound up with contraception methods that will blow your mind. Or at least leave you feeling a little weird down there.
10.Weasel Testicles
In the Dark Ages in Europe, things were dark for a reason, not the least of which was that, with the lights on, a typical man might wonder why his girlfriend had weasel balls strapped to her leg.
The reason is obvious to anyone with a degree in Magickery or Weasel Ballogy, as any magician at the time would tell you that the weasel balls would prevent pregnancy. Through the power of magick, you see. Yes, being a magician during the Dark Ages pretty much gave you a blank check.
We may not be magicians and our amateur dabbling in gynecology has been less than revealing, but we're pretty sure this method is aces since we don't know many men who would be able to perform sexually after seeing a pair of innocent, severed balls hanging from his mate as decoration.
9.Diaphragms ... Made of Crocodile Poo
Ancient Egyptians were a crafty lot, what with those pyramids and that cool dance and mummies and all. It's no surprise then that they were some of the first people to cook up a method of birth control that actually worked. They had figured out that you could stop the pregnancy if you had some kind of, uh, blockage there.
Still, these were ancient times and there was an unspoken agreement that everything they did had to be horrible in some way. Thus, they made their sperm barriers out of honey and crocodile shit.
Who exactly was the first to try this, and what their logic was, is lost to history. We know one thing though: When they finally invent a time machine, the first thing we're doing is going back to find out.
8. Beaver Testicles, With Alcohol
In the 16th century, Canadians agreed that the testicles of small furry animals were key to pregnancy prevention. They were far more advanced than those silly, superstitious Europeans, so they got the brilliant idea to use moonshine with beaver testicles in it.
The hooch was incredibly strong and the beaver balls were ground up into a fine powder, all to ensure the rampant Canadian sex would have no unfortunate side effects, other than having to drink grain alcohol with dried balls in it. This was presumably exactly as effective as the aforementioned magic weasel balls, but with the bonus of getting drunk off your ass (it should be noted that most Canadian scientific advancement can be summed up with these same words).
7. Mercury
Ah, delicious, hot mercury. From the old days when it was considered a cure for almost everything, to the future when we'll make terminators out of it, mercury never goes out of style.
Several thousand years ago in China, somebody logically came up with the idea of using mercury as birth control. Why not? After sex, women would do some shots of mercury, and we like to think they called it "Riding the Quicksliver Pony," then voila, no pregnancy. There may have been some sterility, brain damage and kidney failure, of course, but stopping the baby was the main thing. This was China, after all.
But, hey, at least they were taking it orally.
6. Diaphragms of Gold and Silver
Hey! This one doesn't sound so bad! While today's cervical caps are the idiot cousin of the diaphragm and not used all that often, a couple thousand years ago they were the shit. The basic idea was to make a little thimble that fit way up inside a woman over her cervix. While the unwashed masses were busy using oiled paper and beeswax to make these caps, the sluterati were having them made out of gold, silver and ivory.
While these substances were no doubt awesome to anyone going spelunking in a woman's vagina and could give you a cool girl-band name like Ivory Twatter or Silver Coochella, they sometimes lead to things like Toxic Shock Syndrome, unusual odors, discharge and infections, not to mention pregnancy since they only work if properly fitted and have a chance of falling out during sex.
But, hey, if things play out just right, your penis could come out wearing a shiny little top hat! And wouldn't that make it all worth it?
5. Animal Intestines
Condoms are not, as you'd suspect, the result of some drunken man looking at a party balloon and getting an idea. The idea of wrapping one's wang for delivery has been around for ages, long before latex, Saran Wrap and tube socks were viable options.
Back then, animal intestines were the order of the day, most likely because somebody was making sausage and made the logical connection. One of the oldest known condoms is made from a pig intestine and even has a user manual that suggests soaking it in warm milk before use, probably because just humping with a pig intestine was only half gross, but if you could somehow include sour milk in the mix well, that'd put it right over the top.
Again, you have to remember that ancient civilizations existed mainly to disgust the future.
4. Diaphragms of Opium
You know what else will never go out of style? Opium. Long before recorded history, there have been segments of the population who decided that everything could be made a little better with a little bit of opium thrown in.
This includes the people of ancient Sumatra, who figured they might as well use it for birth control. So, they'd take a sticky wad of opium and, you know--wedge it in there. Now, we hesitate to even include this because we have a feeling right now there is some dude at his computer, gel in his hair and three buttons open on his shirt, reading this and suddenly having an awesome idea for Saturday night.
PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. We don't know what the side effects are, let's just assume they're unimaginable and move on with our lives.
3. Lemons
By the 1700s, most had realized that dried turds and hard metals probably had no rightful place in a woman's lady parts. That's when some enterprising man or woman looked at a lemon half, and got an idea. OK, it was probably a man.
"Honey! I'm going to try something here ... "
The shape would act as a diaphragm and (though the inventor may not have even known this) the acid in the citrus would kill the sperm. And the scent would be just like a freshly cleaned bathroom each and every time! Considering what they were using before that, the guy who came up with it probably won a Nobel prize.
As a bonus, the various shapes and sizes of citrus meant it was great for every woman, though it probably made for some awkward moments with the fruit seller.
2. Blacksmith water
Nothing says "baby-free" or "massive brain damage" quite like drinking filthy, toxic sludge--a theory proved positive by the childless, Listerine-drinking hobo who lives by the dumpster out back.
Dating way back to ancient Greece and spanning a good 1,800 years of human history is the idea that drinking the water a blacksmith used to cool the materials he was working with would stop you from getting pregnant. Though it's not really known why anyone believed this, the idea that the water contained lead is a strong possibility as even up through the first World War, women were volunteering to work in factories with lead just so it would keep them sterile.
The only real downside was a pantload of neurological problems, nausea, kidney failure, seizures, coma and death. Hell, they'd probably have been better off sticking with the mercury.
1. Coca-Cola Douche
The modern age isn't all enlightenment and ribbed condoms. For a time, not too long ago (and in fact, probably as recent as last Wednesday) people were under the impression a can of Coke was as good as the morning after pill. And they weren't drinking it.
Yes, they would douche with it after having sex. The belief was that carbonation and sugar would be effective at stopping pregnancy, and also turning a vagina into a syrupy, caffeinated horror show of fizz and sticky spots. We like to think Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb were the carbonated no-baby douches of choice, but study by Harvard in the late '60s gave the honor to Diet Coke.
Sex Organ Up Your Nose
We humans have a bunch of highly-developed senses, but most of our communication happens with sound and vision.
Not much communication between people happens with smell.
But now we are beginning to prove that we humans can influence each other with our smells - and, that we pick up these smells with a strange sex organ inside our noses!
The anatomy scientists have known for a long time about the "olfactory epithelium". "Olfactory" means "related to smell". The olfactory epithelium is a patch of yellowish tissue high up in "ceiling" of the nose. Normally, it is poorly ventilated, but when we sniff deeply, we pass lots of air over it. In this yellow patch, there are sensory cells specially adapted for smelling. Chemicals in the air enter the nose, excite the sensory cells, and then we get the sensation of "smell".
There is also another area in the human nose that we can detect odours with - but until recently, most scientists didn't believe it existed! This is the VNO, which stands for "vomeronasal organ". Fishes, birds, and some mammals don't have a VNO, but it is very well developed in snakes and lizards.
It was first discovered by the Dutch anatomist, Ruysch, way back in 1703. It's right next to the wall that separates the nostrils, on the quot;floor" of the nose, and about a centimetre inside the nose. There's one in each nostril. It looks like a hollow tube, with only a very small opening (about one tenth of a millimetre across) into the nose. Each VNO is very small, and hard to see.
This might be why the vomeronasal organ fell out of favour, and soon the anatomists didn't even believe it existed. By the 1930's, physiologists said hat not only did we humans definitely not have a VNO, but there was no structure in the brain to process the information from any such organ. However, in 1991, a careful study found that 910 out of 1,000 people had an easily-found VNO. But the fact that we humans have a vomeronasal Organ, does not mean that it does anything.
In 1994, Luis Monti-Bloch and his team from the University of Utah actually managed to thread very fine insulated electrical wires into the VNOs of volunteers. They then wafted various smells up the noses of their volunteers, and looked for electrical activity in the cells of the VNO. These smells were various odourless chemicals from the skin of men and women. The volunteers had absolutely no conscious idea that they were getting these smells - in other words, their olfactory epithelium which smells perfumes and pollutants, did not trigger. The cells in the males' VNOs fired when they got female skin smells, and female VNOs responded to male skin smells. But the VNOs did not respond to skin smells from the same sex.
It was odd that the volunteers didn't consciously realise that their VNO was being stimulated. We can waft a smell up their nose, and their VNO can fire frantically with electrical activity - but all the volunteer gets is a vague, generalised emotion of feeling fine.
But in early 1998, an excellent experiment showed a more definite effect - that some female smells could trigger women's menstrual cycles. Kathleen Stern and Martha McClintock from the Psychology Department at the University of Chicago did the experiment. They had some "donor" women, who gave away the smells in their armpits (via a pad that they wore for 8 hours per day). They also had some "recipient" women, who were exposed to these smells. The smells were completely odourless, as far their conscious brains were concerned. And of course, the two groups, donors and recipients, never met face-to-face.
The smells were taken from the donor women at two different times in their menstrual cycle. When the smells were taken before the donors ovulated, the ecipient's menstrual cycles became shorter. But when the smells were taken right on the donors' ovulation, the recipient's menstrual cycles became longer. The overall effect was to synchronise the cycle of the recipient, with the cycle of the donor.
This was a pretty good experiment, but we're still not 100% sure that the smells from one human can influence another human. For one thing, this effect happened to only 70% of the volunteers - so what's going on in the remaining 30%? For another thing, our neuroanatomists have not yet proved that nerves from the human VNO go to the relevant parts of the brain. The only way to do that is to get several corpses, add some dye to the VNO, and wait a few month for the dye to migrate, and then very carefully cut open the brain.
So if your boyfriend or girlfriend gets up your nose, it may not be their fault.
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2008-11-20
Why are over 250 million sperm cells released from the penis during sex?
The average male will produce roughly 525 billion sperm cells over a lifetime and shed at least one billion of them per month.
A healthy adult male can release between 40 million and 1.2 billion sperm cells in a single ejaculation.
In contrast, women are born with an average two million egg follicles, the reproductive structures that give rise to eggs. By puberty, a majority of those follicles close up and only about 450 will ever release mature eggs for fertilization.
But if it only takes one sperm and one egg to meet and create a baby, then why do men produce such a whopping number of sperm? Wouldn’t it be less wasteful for a man to release a single sperm, or at least fewer, to meet one egg?
The reason for this predicament boils down to two words: sperm competition. Since the dawn of the sexes, males have vied with each other to get as many of their own sperm near a fertile egg as possible. Getting more of your sperm closer to an egg means there is a greater probability that it will be you and not your neighbor fertilizing it.
This kind of competition is an evolutionary imperative for males of any species. If a rival’s sperm fertilizes an egg, then an opportunity to pass on your genes is lost. Through many generations, as the reproductive spoils continually go to the highest sperm producers, their genes are passed on. The genes of the smaller sperm producers are eventually weeded out of the population and become a footnote to evolutionary history.
But if it was just a matter of ‘more is better,’ then animals of all species would have evolved ridiculously large testicles in a bid to overwhelm the competition. But it’s not quite that simple—numbers are important, but so is proximity. Fertilizing an egg is not just about how much sperm you can produce. It is also about how close you get your sperm to it.
In the early 1980s, researchers in the United Kingdom and the United States realized that both proximity and number were important factors in the physiology of primates, including humans. In primate societies with rigid social structures and one dominant male who mates with all the females, testes trend towards the small. In gorillas, for example, they are very small relative to body weight. (Don’t tell them that.) In gorilla society, one male defends a harem of females to ensure only his sperm gets anywhere near their eggs. In this case, making a lot of sperm doesn’t really help the male gorilla get the job done.
For chimpanzees, on the other hand, sperm competition is a serious issue. In chimpanzee society, many males and females live together in large troops, and females have sex with many males in a short span of time. This is why male chimpanzees possess the largest testes of all the great apes, weighing in roughly 15 times larger than gorillas, relative to their body weight. This gives them a better shot at swamping out the competition.
Human males fall somewhere in between gorillas and chimps. The average man’s testes are roughly two and a half times as big as a gorilla’s but six times smaller than a chimp’s, relative to body weight. This has led some researchers to question whether sperm competition was ever at work in human societies, or whether our relatively large testes are just a hold over from an earlier period in our evolutionary history.
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Why do we get bags under our eyes?
If the eyes are the window to the soul, then what do those hefty bags beneath your eyes say about you?
Co-workers, loved ones and even your coffee shop barista might be quick to point out that they make you look like a sleepy soul.
While people often associate under-eye bags with lack of sleep, one main cause may actually be much more fundamental: gravity. The gravitational pull weighs down on all Earthly objects, including your skin. The longer you’re exposed to gravity (i.e., the older you get) the more your facial tissues sink toward the floor.
But prolonged exposure to gravity is not the only bag-forming effect that the aging process bestows on us. As we get older, the tissues around our peepers change.
The upper and lower eyelids are composed of skin, muscle and fat. With age, the muscles weaken and can’t hold up the skin as tightly. Skin also changes because the collagen inside it degrades. Collagen is a protein that gives structure to our cells. In skin, it provides elasticity. With less collagen, the skin starts to wrinkle and sag.
Beneath the skin and muscle, the main culprit for under-eye puffiness is fat. “As you get older, your fat, like everything else, starts drooping,” says Dr. Melanie Grossman, a dermatologist in New York.
Fat deposits around our eyes help protect them. But in our 40s and 50s, these cushiony fat pockets can escape from the membrane that normally contains them. As the membrane weakens with age, the fat slips out and occupies new spaces under the skin. “When people have puffiness it may be misplacement of the fat,” says Grossman.
A new study by plastic surgery researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles shows that this long-accepted theory may be off the mark. Rather than the membrane weakening with age, the scientists report that the amount of fat beneath the eyes actually increases to cause baggy lower eyelids. More research is needed to pin down the exact mechanism to explain droopy lower eyelids, but scientists agree that as the calendar pages turn, the bag-forming process naturally progresses.
So is it fair when friends point fingers at your puffy eyes and tease that you’re not sleeping enough? Dr. David McDaniel, a dermatologist in Virginia Beach, says that while there is no proof of a relationship between snoozing and under-eye bags, it does seem that a lack of sleep affects the severity of the condition.
Some other behaviors that appear to affect puffiness are eating salty foods, which causes your body to retain water, and rubbing the eyes because of allergies. Irritants in the air such as pollutants and mold also seem to exacerbate the bags.
But changing your behavior won’t obliterate sagging lower lids from your face. There is a genetic factor at play as well. If your parents puffed up, then you probably will too at around the same age.
Envy those lucky individuals whose genes predict that their eye fat will remain at bay and the skin below their eyes will stay nice and tight. For the rest of us, there are remedies that people claim can at least minimize the bags.
Plastic surgery called blepharoplasty can remove or reposition the fat that creates under-eye bags. Sometimes surgeons pair this with Botox or facelifts to revitalize the face. Some specialty eye creams found on drugstore shelves claim to reduce puffiness.
Cheaper alternatives include folk remedies like cucumber slices and tea bags laid on top of closed eyes. People use them because they think the cooling from the cucumbers or the natural anti-diuretic in caffeinated tea might help. But there’s no proof that these techniques work, says Grossman. It’s not clear whether the caffeine can even penetrate the skin and, if it can, whether it has any effect.
If you’re genetically predisposed to get under-eye bags, there is not much chance of avoiding them. But maintaining the health of your skin can play down their appearance. “Overwhelmingly, good diet, exercise and sleep are probably the things you can do to help yourself,” Grossman says.
While there’s no definitive link between healthy behavior and smooth skin surrounding the eyes, that advice seems to echo the common refrain from doctors. “Your eyes reflect the health of your skin and your body,” says McDaniel.
And one more thing: dark circles under the eyes often coincide with bags, but these two ugly features occur separately. Aging is partially responsible for both. So what we see in others seems to be older (not sleepy) souls.
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The Trust Hormone
Oxytocin may make you more trusting, but is that a good thing?
Between emails from Nigeria promising millions of dollars in exchange for your bank account number and advertisements proclaiming the deal of a lifetime, someone is always after your money.
While no one is immune from the occasional bad investment, most of us pride ourselves on being too smart to be duped out of our hard-earned cash.
Recently though, researchers have discovered that the naturally occurring hormone oxytocin might make us more trusting with our money—even after someone betrays us. A Swiss study detailed in the May issue of the journal Neuron showed that volunteers who were given the hormone oxytocin through a nasal spray were more trusting than those given a placebo.
Using functional magnetic resonance imaging, a scanning technology that measures neural activity, the researchers found that the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, was less active in the group that received oxytocin.
Reducing amygdala activity lowers social fear and anxiety, says Markus Heinrichs, author of the study and psychology professor at the University of Zurich. Eventually, he thinks oxytocin could be used to treat disorders characterized by an overactive amygdala, like social phobia.
However, the prospect of inducing trust with a hormone—particularly if administered without consent—raises a few eyebrows. Ethicists worry about the potential for misuse, and one company is already marketing a “trust perfume” made with oxytocin.
“If it turns out that oxytocin makes someone more pliable and receptive, one can think of nefarious uses,” says Paul Root Wolpe, a neuroethicist at the University of Pennsylvania. For instance, he says it would be inappropriate to use oxytocin on prisoners or criminal suspects to elicit a confession because it is unethical to give drugs without consent, not to mention a violation of the Geneva Conventions.
Other researchers assert that oxytocin research is much more likely to lead to useful therapies than abuses, and they say the Neuron study was an important step. They think oxytocin could be used as a treatment for disorders such as social phobia and even autism. Those disorders are characterized by fear, so some think oxytocin could help make people more trusting and less fearful in social situations.
“People are very excited about oxytocin’s use,” says Adam Guastella, a senior clinical research fellow at the Brain and Mind Research Institute at the University of Sydney, Australia, who is not connected with the study. “There are many potential applications.”
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Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone produced in the hypothalamus, an almond-sized area at the base of the brain. The hormone is released by the adjacent pituitary gland, particularly during labor and breastfeeding. It has also been associated with sexual arousal, giving it the nickname the “love hormone.” But oxytocin’s function extends well beyond love, and recent studies have examined its role in trust and social interactions.
A 2005 study in Nature, for example, found that participants who received oxytocin were more likely to trust other people than participants who received a placebo. The recent Neuron study expands on the earlier experiment, showing that not only are people more trusting, but they are more trusting even when they know they are likely to be betrayed. The study also combines brain imaging data with the behavioral data to see which regions of the brain are affected by oxytocin.
“This was the first study where we combined brain imaging, social behavior and substance administration,” says Heinrichs.
Heinrichs and his colleagues performed the experiment on 49 male volunteers. Half of them received a nasal spray of oxytocin and half did not. Then each group played a trust game. The men had to decide whether or not to invest money with another volunteer in hopes of gaining more money. The amount they chose to invest would automatically be doubled. Then the volunteer receiving the money could decide how much, if any, to give back to the investor. The more money the volunteer invested, the more he stood to gain or lose.
The two groups played a round of six games and afterwards were told how often their investments paid off. About half the time, the trustee betrayed the investor. Each group then played another round of trust games with different trustees, and in this round the investors in the placebo group invested less often. But the oxytocin group continued to invest the same amount of money with the trustees.
After learning that their trust had been betrayed, the placebo group’s average investment dropped from about 7.7 to 6.5 out of a possible 12, while the oxytocin group’s average stayed about the same.
All participants were hooked up to a scanner while playing the trust games so their brain activity could be monitored. Researchers found that the amygdala was much more active in the placebo group than in the oxytocin group.
“The amygdala is very clearly identified with fear and anxiety,” says Ron Stoop of the Center for Psychiatric Neuroscience at the University of Lausanne, Switzerland. “When it is activated you get a fear response; when inactivated, people get very calm.”
***
Oxytocin binds to proteins embedded in the cell membrane of the amygdala. This binding activates neurotransmitters that inhibit cells in the amygdala, reducing neural activity. The exact length of oxytocin’s inhibitory effect is unknown, but Stoop says it appears to only be short-lived.
Researchers are now trying to figure out whether oxytocin affects other areas of the brain, says Stoop. Oxytocin could be specific to the amygdala or it could have a general effect on the entire brain, he adds, noting that there are receptors in other parts of the brain like the hippocampus, where memories are formed, and the stria terminalis, which is a band of fibers that connects the amygdala to the hippocampus.
Oxytocin could eventually be used to treat social disorders characterized by excessive fear, such as social phobia, autism and post-traumatic stress disorder. Heinrichs says that the feeling of fear in these disorders is caused by a hyperactive amygdala. He thinks that oxytocin could help reduce that hyperactivity.
But Paul Zak, a neuroeconomist at Claremont University who studies how neural activity influences economic decisions, says it is premature to speculate on clinical uses of oxytocin. The study only evaluated its effects on men, and since oxytocin has a role in breastfeeding and childbirth, it would be important to determine whether the hormone has a different effect on women, he says.
Zak was also critical of the neural imaging used in the Neuron study. One effect of oxytocin is that it lowers a person’s heart rate. Since imaging shows brain activity based on the amount of blood flow, the activity in the amygdala might be lower not because it is being inhibited by oxytocin, but simply because there was less blood flow to the brain in general, according to Zak.
Sydney’s Guastella says it is also important to understand whether or not oxytocin increases pleasure or feelings of reward from social interactions. He says that for oxytocin to effectively treat social disorders, it will have to increase the person’s desire to interact with others, not just increase their likelihood to trust.
So far, giving people extra oxytocin has not produced any harmful side effects, but this needs to be researched better before being used as treatment.
***
Still, researchers are taking oxytocin seriously, and not just as a potential clinical treatment. They also acknowledge that its ability to shape behavior raises certain ethical questions. “You can imagine a wide range of scenarios,” Stoop says. He points to politicians potentially using oxytocin to gain voters’ trust or executives who might use it to garner trust in a business deal.
“The danger would be if you could administer oxytocin in a way that someone would not realize it,” Heinrichs says. But, he says, that would be difficult to do since oxytocin has to be administered through a nasal spray to be effective.
However, the Florida-based company Verolabs is already marketing a “liquid trust” perfume. Company officials would not return phone calls, but their website boasts that the perfume will help wearers gain the trust of others in both their professional and romantic lives.
Heinrichs and others dismiss this idea, saying that aerosolized oxytocin would not affect the brain because it quickly degrades. Oxytocin in a perfume spray would diffuse rapidly in the air and it wouldn’t reach the brain in high enough concentrations to have any effect, researchers say. Companies are just looking to make a quick buck, Heinrichs says. Even so, the University of Pennsylvania’s Wolpe still has concerns. “It does raise a number of questions on how it is we form relationships with other people and why some people are more trusting and others are more suspicious and wary,” he says.
But, he also points out that the effects shown in the Swiss study were relatively mild. Oxytocin didn’t cause a dramatic change in behavior, so it would be premature to jump to conclusions on how it could be used, he says. “This isn’t a magic bullet to put something over on someone,” he says.
It is important to figure out the context in which oxytocin could or should be used, says Eric Racine, director of the neuroethics research unit at the Institute of Clinical Research in Montreal. “This study really reflects the exciting advances that have been made in neuroscience, but also the potential ethical implications of knowing how we think, feel and behave,” says Racine. While other fields of science such as genetics and stem cell research have long spurred ethical debates, advances in neuroscience are just starting to raise similar ethical questions, Racine says. Just because we can shape behavior and feelings, he adds, doesn’t mean we should.
2008-07-09
Sexy Body - How do Men Really Feel?
Sexy body here, a sexy body there – everywhere you look – someone is telling you to get a sexy body and promising great rewards. Ladies, don’t waist your time striving for that sexy body - there’s good news and some basic things you need to learn about men.
First, men will always respond positively to a woman with a sexy body – it’s really not even a choice we have. When we see a woman with a sexy body – it’s hard not to notice.
But MANY other things are more important. Don’t let yourself be deceived by the billion dollar “sexy body” industry. There are other characteristics men would rather find in a woman or wife than a “sexy body”. Take a look at these five:
1) Stay fit and healthy. Men like women who exercise and stay fit – it shows you care about yourself, builds your self esteem and gives you confidence. All of which make you look better in his eyes. Just forget about the quest for that sexy body.
2) A woman with a strong desire to please her man in bed will look more sexy - in his eyes - than a babe with a super sexy body. Try it, lose your inhibitions and make your bedroom a place where his fantasies come true.
3) Lose the “I’m tired” stuff - everyone is tired – him too. When you’re chronically negative – for whatever reason – you will look less desirable in his eyes. Have you ever known an older woman (age 50 or so) who always seemed to act like she was in her 30’s? Men like that – work on acting younger he’ll begin to see you like you really do have a sexy body.
4) Men would rather be in a relationship with a woman who shows him true respect and admiration than with a blond babe sporting a super sexy body. It’s true, you’ll be looking like you’ve got a sexy body – in his eyes – when you show him true respect.
5) Often, women with a sexy body are quite devoted to themselves. After all, it takes a lot of work to maintain that look. Don’t be deceived, men grow tired of women who are only interested in themselves and how they look. Don’t misunderstand, it’s important that you take pride in your appearance, but don’t let it consume you – it will grow old in your man’s eyes.
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How To Be Sexy - Be Absolutely Stunning
So how to be sexy? Is it only about the looks or is there more to being sexy? Well to be honest with you looks have a very little role to play when it comes to being sexy and impressing people around you with your presence. Everyone wants to be sexy but not all of them know how. You can have the best looks and a perfect body but being sexy is much more than just good looks. Read on to discover how to be sexy and achieve mind blowing results.
How do you feel? - Being sexy is all about how you feel about yourself and your body. Some people are really good looking but still do not feel sexy therefore being sexy is all about feeling good about yourself and your body.
How confident are you? - The very next point on how to be sexy is how confident are you being in your body and being yourself. Do you feel comfortable being yourself? Are you happy with the way you are or are you always looking around at other people and trying to become like them? You see the point here is being confident in the way you are and not trying to become like someone else.
How do you carry yourself? - You don't have to be exceptionally good looking in order to be sexy. All you truly need to do is to carry yourself and your personality right. Being sexy is also about how well your groom yourself and the way you dress with style.
How well can you communicate? - Good looks and personality are useless if you don't know the true art of conversation. You would be mostly judged by the way you talk more than the way you look when it comes to being sexy.
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How to Make Him Chase You
If you're a single woman, you've heard the advice that playing hard to get is always the way to go. Even in today's dating world, that advice has a lot of truth to it.
We all know that men love the thrill of the chase and if you want to get and keep the man of your dreams you have to be willing to make him work to gain your affection. If you want to make him chase you, you need to understand exactly how to balance igniting his interest with being a little aloof.
There's been a lot of talk in the inner circles of single women about the benefit of being a bit standoffish when you first start seeing a man. Although you don't want to come across as being disinterested, you do want to create the illusion that you aren't at his beck and call. This means you should not always be available when he wants to see you and you should be a bit mysterious about what your plans are. Don't overtly say that you are seeing someone else, but hold back some details. You might want to tell him that you are having dinner with a friend. If you want to make him chase you, you must not appear too eager. This is one rule you simply can't ignore.
One mistake that many women make when they are trying to establish a deeper connection with a man they are interested in is they become intimate with him very quickly. Obviously the man isn't going to complain, but in his mind he may be wondering if this is your normal behavior and if every man you date gets the same treat. You don't want to come across as a tease, but it's a very good idea to hold off on the intimacy until you've let him chase after you a bit. If you give him everything up front, the pursuit of your affection becomes much less interesting to him. Enjoy his company, but don't take things to the next level too soon.
Don't put on a false front if you want to make him chase you. Some women think they need to embellish details of their lives in order to get a man interested. This approach will almost always backfire on you. You need to relax and completely be yourself when you are with him. Don't stifle any part of your personality and don't try and be something you're not. A man is interested in the real woman, not the woman you wish you were.
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Why Do Women Prefer Bad Men
There have always been arguments about what sort of men do women prefer.
It's always been said that women love to be around nice men but if that's the case then why is a that nice men always finish last.
Agree or disagree with the fact is that nice men do finish last when it comes to scoring a date with women. Women do prefer bad men but there is a reason for that. Read on to discover why women prefer bad men or nice guys.
It's challenging- one of the major reasons why women prefer bad men is simply due to the reason that bad men are more challenging than the nicer ones and this is common human nature that we always go for the things which are not easy for us to get and which provide us the challenge. Nice guys are often too easy to get therefore women think you can find one anywhere.
More confidence- Another reason why women go for bad men are simply due to the reason that bad men are more confident and more assured about themselves when it comes to the matter of self-esteem and being comfortable with oneself. Nice men are often low on self-esteem and confidence which becomes one of the reasons why they always end up finishing last.
Interesting- One of the major positive traits which bad men have is that they know how to achieve a woman amused for a long amount of time. Nice guys are often known to be boring and uninteresting due to the fact that they don't have anything much to offer women due to which the finish last.
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How to Attract Your Soul Mate
If you want to know how to attract your soul mate, you've come to the right place. To start with, it's somewhat of a good news/bad news situation.
The good news is that most of men are pretty easy!
The bad news is that a lot of guys are more interested in sex than soul mates.
Guys like that will just use you and throw you away like an old newspaper.
But if you're looking for true love... A soul mate who will love you and cherish you the rest of your life... That's a different kind of man all together... And these tips will help you find him.
I don't know you personally, but I do know a few things about you....
First off, I know you are a very special person. There are over six billion people on the planet and nobody else is just like you. There never was and never will be again. You are truly unique.
And I know there is a very special guy out there who is just right for you. There's somebody for each of us. Perhaps you haven't even met him yet, but he wants you just as much as you want him. In fact, he's already in love with you... He just doesn't know it yet!
And I also know your life is short and precious. You don't want to go through it alone or trapped in an unhappy marriage. So let's get started getting you two love birds together.
Here are 7 Love Tips from a guy who found his soul mate a long time ago.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #1... Look Your Best!
Like it or not, your appearance can play a major role at the start of a relationship. The importance of looks will diminish as your love matures, but in the very beginning, even before you first talk, comes the first impression... And you never get a second chance to make a good one.
I'm not saying you need to look like a fashion model, but you should look the best you can. Find out what style of clothes look good on you. Some women wear clothes that are entirely wrong for them. For example, something that looks just awful is a woman with an exposed midriff and a bulge of belly fat hanging over hip hugger jeans.
Wear something classy that is soft and feminine. Save the business suits for the office. And don't worry about it being the latest fashion or color. Dress up for your girl friends if you want, but most of us guys don't know or care what's in style this year.
Go easy on the cleavage. A guy wants that to be between you and him, not something you advertise to the world. You have a lot more to be proud of than your breast size. Don't worry, he will notice your curves, and he will love your modesty. There is something very sensual about that.
The multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry has women convinced they aren't beautiful without makeup, but it just isn't true. You should take good care of your hair and skin. Keep it clean, soft and slightly fragrant. We love that, but go easy on the heavy eye shadow and lipstick.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #2... Get Lucky!
They say, "Luck is where preparation meets opportunity". So once you've prepared your best look, go where you will have the opportunity to attract your soul mate.
An infamous bank robber was once asked why he robbed banks. His answer was "Because that's where the money is!" Go to places where the kind of man you want goes. If you want a guy who likes to drink, go to a bar. If you want a religious guy, go to church functions. If you want a guy who skis, head for the slopes.
And go to places you like to go. Take up a new hobby or sport. That gives you a chance to have fun and meet people. And if you do meet someone special there, you already have something in common. Common interests are important in a relationship because it gives you a good opportunity to spend quality time together.
And be clear in your mind about the kind of guy you want, so you will recognize him when you meet. But be careful about prejudging him based on appearance. When choosing a partner for life, looks aren't nearly as important as character. Men and women of good character come in all kinds of different packages. There are lots of pretty boys out there who aren't worthy of your love. Go for character first, looks second.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate #3... Smile!
Once you've attracted his attention, flash him a little smile which says you noticed him also. Most guys are a tad shy and hate getting rejected, especially in front of other guys. Your smile opens the door for him to make the next step.
You should practice your smile if you need to. Look in the mirror and think about the things that make you happy. Think of all your blessings and everything you have to be grateful for. That might be tough to do if you're holding a grudge. Do yourself a big favor and forgive anybody who has ever hurt you in any way. You don't have to forget, but try to forgive.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #4... Just Listen!
When he finally gets up the nerve to talk to you, be sincerely interested in what he has to say. Many guys work in jobs where they can't express themselves and welcome the opportunity to talk to someone who is interested in them.
Ask questions which draw him out instead of those that can be answered with a simple yes or no.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #5... Say the Right Things!
But don't talk too much! We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Try to talk on subjects of mutual interest and subjects he is interested in.
Use his name in your conversations with him. We all like to hear our own name.
If you enjoy being with him, let him know. If you feel safe with him or love to talk with him, let him know. Tell him if you miss him when you're apart. Admire his kindness, manners or other admirable traits.
Avoid foul language. Try to avoid having being loud or having a shrill tone to your voice. Don't nag or argue. If you're wrong, admit it and apologize when you need to. Expect him to do the same.
Don't say "I love you" too soon. You might just scare him off if he hasn't yet realized he loves you too.
Don't bash your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. In fact, don't bad-mouth anybody. Don't gossip or say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say in front of them. If you can't say something good about someone, don't say anything.
Ask him to do you a small favor that you know he can handle. If he's tall maybe he can reach something for you. If he's a computer geek, maybe he can answer a software question. It's a curious phenomenon, but he will feel better about you after he does you a favor! We all like to be appreciated. Plus, this gives you an opportunity to return the favor and do something nice for him!
Everybody loves a good joke or story. Collect a few good ones to tell. You can also use them to send a message, without being too obvious.
Don't be afraid of silence. You don't have to be talking all the time to enjoy each others company.
Keep your phone conversations short and you be the one who "has to go". Leave him wanting more, but set up a time when he can call you back.
At the end of a date, tell him if you had a good time or say that you need to do it again some time. Or maybe say next time you'll treat. That leaves the door open for the next date.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #6... Do the Right Things!
Keep your first date short. Again, leave him wanting more!
Don't kiss on the first date and don't have intercourse until you're ready to start a family. And don't fall for the "If you love me you would" line. If he loved you, he wouldn't try to force you into doing something you're not ready for. True love waits.
Give him the time he needs to be alone or with his buddies, without laying a guilt trip on him. He should know that you missed him, but can get by without him.
Allow him to be a gentlemen... See if he was taught good manners. Let him hold the door and let him pay, at least for the first date. You can offer to leave the tip if you want to.
It's been said that the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. This is somewhat true. Us men are simple creatures and food is important to us. Be smart about it though. Find recipes that are both delicious and healthy. That's really impressive because it shows you care about his health.
Don't scare him off by appearing desperate or needy. Play a little hard to get. A confident attitude is attractive in men and women. Be independent. Stay busy. Have friends, interests and activities independent of him. Keep a little emotional distance until you're both ready to make a long term commitment.
How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #7... Don't Settle!
Don't settle for someone you don't really love... or someone who doesn't really love you.
And don't settle for a guy with deep character flaws, thinking you will change him later. If he changes at all, it will probably be for the worst. After all, if he doesn't treat you right when he's courting you, how do you think he will treat you later?
Listen to what he says, but pay more attention to what he does. How does he treat his mother and sister? That's a pretty good indication how much respect he has for women. How does he treat kids and old people? How about dogs and cats? Is he kind and decent?
Is he honest? If he will lie to one person under one set of circumstances, he will probably lie to you under another. Don't trust someone who is not worthy of your trust.
Don't hear wedding bells when you should be hearing alarm bells. Some warning signs include drug and/or alcohol addiction, driving under the influence, poor work ethic and abusive behavior. Don't ever allow a man to abuse you or the children.
You've probably heard the saying that "Love is blind". We tend to see only what we want to see and hear only what we want to hear. Let him meet your friends and family. See what they think of him. They want the best for you and can be more objective.
Somebody wise once said we should keep our eyes wide open before marriage... and half shut afterwards!
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