10 signs he's into you

These telltale signs will let you know that he's interested in you! Ever wonder if the cute guy at your office is flirting with you or just being Mr. Nice Guy?

Sometimes the signals guys send can leave us totally confused, but chances are if he's showing most of these below, then you have yourself an admirer!


1. Eye contact
If he's looking straight into your eyes every time you talk it's probably not because you have a fallen eyelash or your mascara is running. Steady eye contact shows he's completely focused on you and really listening to what you have to say.

2. Leaning into you
When there's no attraction between two people, they keep a safe distance between their bodies. But if you find your suspected crush leaning in closer when you have a one on one conversation it's a sign he's into you and wants to get closer.

3. The magic touch
Gentle touches on the arm or back are a sure sign a guy's into you unless he's just a touchy-feely guy with just about everyone. Touching shows intimacy and that's what he's looking for, so the next time your hands brush at the photocopier remember he could be sending you a sign.

4. Funny to meet you here
Coincidence it may be -- but a guy just happens to keep showing up at places you hang out (and you hadn't seen him there until recently) it's probably not an accident. Take advantage and strike up a conversation to find out what's up.

5. You're oh-so funny
You may think you have a great sense of humour and tell awesome jokes, but normally you don't even get a snicker out of you friends with your jokes. But this one guy loves them and laughs every time -- he could be crushing on you and your funny bone.

6. His friends know about you
Maybe your admirer is just an acquaintance -- so chances are you don't know his friends too well. But, if his friends seem to know about you and your likes/dislikes it means he's been talking about you -- a lot.

7. He's chumming it up with your friends
In an effort to get to know more about you -- your secret crush may want to get chummy with your pals. If he's sending you other signs plus this, he's likely totally into you.

8. He really listens to you
He seems to remember every little detail -- you told him months ago you like your latte made with soy and a dash of cinnamon -- in an office meeting. Now he's bringing you a soy latte when he does a coffee run -- complete with the dash of cinnamon.

9. He's totally nervous around you
Guys pride themselves on being confident -- except when they are head over heels for a woman. So if you notice him getting nervous or flustered around you he could be worried about not making a good impression on you.

10. He wants to be on your team
Whether it's a team or group for the office, or a team of friends playing tag football, if he always wants to be on your team (or picks you first) it could be a sign that he's into you -- so play along, who knows what will happen!

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Rules about Online Dating

1. Be Honest About Your Dating Status

My personal pet peeve: men who lie about being single. Nothing is more infuriating than a man desperate to break in a new kitten. Signs to look for include:

- Picture-less profiles: married men don’t want to be ID’d by their friends or *gasp* their wife.

- Harried and hurried emails, demanding to meet TONIGHT: he’s got a 2 hour window while his wife is out with the girls and needs to fill it.

- The conversation ALWAYS leads to sex: it’s all he’s got on his mind and he doesn’t care who it comes from.

- He loves and needs and wants and has to have you. Oh yeah, I bet he’s falling for you and is half-way to *ahem* divine inspiration.

- He gives you detailed instructions which include not leaving voicemails, not calling at certain hours, failure to even disclose a phone number, a warning that he may disappear for a while, and a request for naughty pictures up front, given that he has to delete them quickly.

- Cheating married men are slimy and hardly worth a single girl’s time. Why take half of a half of a half of something, when you can have it all without the drama?

- Married women are in the same category, but why repeat myself?

2. No Penis Pics

Holy God this shouldn’t even have to be mentioned. First of all, most of these pictures aren't even artfully taken. Second of all, these penises are often nothing to be proud of. I can attest that I’ve been visually raped more times than I can count and, adding insult to injury, the offending parties didn’t even grace me with an erection. There is nothing pleasing about a flaccid unit. What, am I supposed to pet it and serve it dinner? Men, women do not want to see a picture of your penis or your "boys". Just because you don’t have a job or a life, and spend hours online pleasuring yourself to equally aimless and spineless women who having nothing else to do than show off their pancake-like sweater puppies, doesn’t mean the rest of us are panting to see your junk. It’s like penis pics and boobs have replaced “Hi, how are you?” “Fine, thank you, and yourself?”

Penis: ‘sup, baby? Wanna get some? Get at me!

Boob: oh you know it, baby, I gots to get me some of that!

STD-ridden sex ensues and we have yet one more generation of idiots, setting evolution back a few steps once and for all. Please, for the good of the species, do not send over your penis pics.

3. Be Safe - Have a Double Life

Meet in a public place. Not his place. Not your place. A public, well-lit and moderately populated place.

- Don’t divulge the contents of your TRW. Your address, your work address, your bank and every other piece of confidential information can be used in a myriad of ways to compromise your safety. This is common sense, but you never know.

- Don’t go back to their place. I don’t care how safe you think they are. I don’t care if you feel the need to screw right then and there. You don’t know a person after a few hours, minutes or seconds of meeting.

- Use a free email account. When it progresses to private email transmissions, use a free anonymous account, so that your last name isn’t readily available.

- Stick with paid dating services. You get what you pay for and it’s pretty safe to assume that if you have to pay for it, typically the low-life population gets weeded out.

- Limit the alcohol. It impairs your judgment. Period.

- Let someone else know where you’re going to be. Make sure a friend knows where you’re going and what time you’ll be there. Provide them with all of the other persons information as well. That way the cops will have something to go on when your friend files a missing persons report.

4. Know You Are Not the Only One

This isn’t Highlander, there can be more than one. Only the ignorant and the arrogant believe they are the only ones playing the game. Given how dating sites are designed, you’ll never know how many are in line before you. If the woman you are interested in is extremely attractive and you know for a fact that she’s being pursued by every other tool on the totem, you need to do something that makes you stand out. Try speaking up and speaking out.

Cut straight to the chase: "When may I meet you?"

Be Interesting and Funny, But Don't Write An Essay

Surefire way to sit on the back burner: "So, yeah. I’m interested. Tell me about yourself."

Asking someone to tell you something fascinating about them makes you look lazy and stuck-up. It says you think you’re too good to volunteer any information and too lazy to ask an actual question. If you were truly interested, you wouldn’t waste her time by asking her something so generic. She’ll know you’re sending that email to every other girl and you will be instantly dismissed from her court. Anyone can ask a boring question, but it takes true style to say something really cool.

Example: "I had a next-door neighbor with your name. She was 80 yrs old, grumpy and smelled suspiciously like rotten grapefruit. So I’m glad I found you on here. Even if we never speak to each other, you’ve erased a traumatic memory with a very classy, very tasteful, very beautiful visual. Thank you for that."

It’s funny and she won’t be able to resist asking you for the story of your neighbor.

5. No Old Pictures - Look Like What You Look Like

Putting up a picture and a brief line: "just lookin’ for a honey to spend some time wit" is not the best course of action. For best results, try to adhere to the following:

- Use a CURRENT picture. Not one that’s 10 years old or even 5 years old. Because when you meet, they’ll know who you REALLY are.

- Don’t brag about who you are. I’m sure you’re very interesting and fascinating, but it will become very clear that you are already in a love affair: with yourself.

- Use proper grammar & punctuation. It matters and if a person is too lazy to focus on what they’re saying, then they’ll be even less focused on what YOU’RE saying.

- Be HONEST about your circumstances. Be HONEST about your goals. Be HONEST about your agenda. Be honest about who the heck you are and what the heck you’re looking for.

- Don’t parade the fact that you’re financially successful. It makes you look like a snob and you’ll only attract other snobs or gold-diggers.

- Don’t wear self-pity like it’s a warm, hand-knitted sweater. So you’re divorced. So you just got dumped. So what? If you choose to put yourself out there, then you’re stating that you’re ready to date. Ergo, don’t become the Swamps of Sadness that everyone has to steer clear of. Leave your drama where it belongs – at home, under the floorboards, bound and gagged. There’s nothing noble about wallowing in self-pity. It only makes you look pathetic.

- Your profile is an extension of you and is the resume for your personal life. Make it good.

6. Be Gentle

Some may not believe that this is important, but when your desires are not reciprocated, there is a proper way to deal with it. If your mental SOS isn’t immediately picked up by your date, let them down gently.

Not Acceptable:

- "Crap, I forgot to feed my dog before I left!" You both know Rover isn’t starving.

- "I’ve got a bunch of errands to run after this." Doesn’t work, no matter what the hour is.

- "Whoops, look at that *checking cell phone*. I gotta run but it was great meeting you! We’ll do this another time?" Yeah, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

- "I just don’t feel up to really DATING anyone right now." So why am I here?

Acceptable:

- "Hey, so thanks for the coffee/drink/dinner. I had a great time, but I really should be going. I hope you have a great evening. Good Night.

- It IS acceptable to arrange a decoy phone call. It gives you an out and you don’t have to lie. Just try not to go over the top with your dramatic exit.

- Even if you’re not interested, you still should spend 20-30 minutes with this person before escaping. Then you go home and draft an email:

- "Thank you again for meeting me. I enjoyed hearing about _____ and ______. While I did enjoy meeting you, I didn’t really feel that strong a connection with you. Please don’t take offense to this." You’ve done nothing wrong. Good luck with the site and be safe!

7. Act Your Age - Do Not Lie

- There are various unspoken rules in our society. Always bring flowers to Moms house, wash after you wipe, 2 parts to 1 makes perfect rice and you never lie about how you look.

- This includes uploading pictures of you wearing your 10th grade cheerleader uniform when you graduated 15 years ago.

- This means you don’t send a picture of your ripped, surfer 27 yr old son and call it an accident.

- This means you don’t list 20 shots of you in the same room, wearing the same shirt, shooting from the same 10 feet up angle, with 20 different facial expressions and calling it “random.”

- This means you don’t pimp out your hotter, younger sister because, in reality, you’re a 300lb shut-in who hasn’t thought past phase 1 and fails to realize that when you do meet face-to-face, the conversation will be short and sweet.

- "I didn’t think you’d go out with me because of how I looked." You were right.

- Don’t type "I’m 45 years young!" Why men do this is beyond me. You’re still 45 and now, you’re officially trying too hard.

- Don’t type "You’re only as old as you feel!" I have the energy of a 12 yr old. Still want to date me?

- Don’t type "I’m 50 but I look 30!" Never, ever apologize for your age, unless you’re 16.

- Don’t be carrying 100 extra big ones, be pushing retirement and have no sense of humor and then declare you will only date girls if they come gift wrapped and carrying their own stuffed toys. Sicko.

6 Sex Myths as Explained by Science

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It's hard to find out the truth about sex, because when we talk about it, we're usually lying.

So every dude has a nine-inch dong, and pouring a Red Bull on your ass before sex will totally prevent pregnancy.

Luckily scientists are working tirelessly to sort through all the "facts" about sex you learned from porn and your pals in the locker room.

6. Beer Goggles

The Conventional Wisdom

You're out with some buddies at the bar, and it's getting late and, let's face it, you're shitfaced. Suddenly, you're the best dancer in the room and you're noticing something wonderful: This is the sexiest fucking club on the planet!

You're looking good, the women are looking good and you're a bit confused by the fact that even that guy at the bar is looking pretty damn fine too. The next morning, you roll over to find that you are face to face with a wrinkly sea of back fat featuring the largest tattoo of Satan you have ever seen.

Science Shows...

As it happens, beer goggles are a real live scientific phenomenon. Scientists tested a group of 84 British students with some lime-flavored drinks. Some of those drinks were non-alcoholic, some were spiked with vodka to get the subject good and sauced. We like to think they served these drinks in beakers and graduated cylinders, in true nerd fashion.

In a laboratory simulation of 'cruising for chicks on Facebook after downing a six pack,' the scientists chowed the college students photos of both males and females and had students play the scientific method's first documented instance of would you rather. What they discovered was that the students with the spiked drinks found the people in the photos more attractive--even the heterosexual students looking at people of their own gender.

So the good news is if you're a dude who dreams of going out to the bar and winding up as some hot chick's drunken mistake, you've got a chance. The bad news is, the same scenario could lead to the burly arms of some dude who looks like Ed Asner.

5. Chicks Dig the Car

The Conventional Wisdom

Most of the auto industry's sales come from this long-held assumption of frat boys everywhere: the nicer the car, the better your chances with the ladies.

If you think you're going to pick up a woman in a beat up hatchback, then you'd better listen to those Free Credit Report guys, because as their catchy jingle says, women won't give you the time of day if you drive a '98 Daewoo.

Science Shows...

The Free Credit Report guy is right.

A British insurance company called Hiscox (seriously?) conducted the study. They found when female subjects heard the roar of a Maserati's engine, they went to their happy place down south. Out of the 40 women who participated in the study, every last woman reported getting that tingly sensation from the sports car.

So maybe you're thinking that being "green" and "economically responsible" might turn some women on, right? After all, chicks dig a guy who cares about the earth! Well, not so much. The study also concluded that not only were both guys and chicks turned completely off by the sound of a VW Polo, but it actually lowered everyone's testosterone level.

So when you're rolling around in the Volkswagon or Prius and some frat boy named Tyler calls you a pussy, sadly he's actually got science on his side.

4. Sex Makes Men Sleepy

The Conventional Wisdom

Ladies, you've just had a passionate roll in the hay with your significant other (or drunken mistake). Since you're a girl, all you want to do after sex is cuddle and talk about marriage and missing your period. But when you roll over, he's already snoring into his pillow!

Anyone who's ever seen a female stand-up comedian has heard this story. He just wants to shoot his wad and doze off, probably immediately after leaving the toilet seat up! Am I right ladies? It fits in nicely with the stereotype that men don't care about romance, and that women are emotionally needy. But it's just a cliche, right?

Science Shows...

Actually no. There's a scientific reason men fall asleep after sex. It's not their fault.

According to experts, an orgasm literally changes a man's body chemistry. Combine that with the physical exertion of sex and chances are that most dudes will go down like they were hit with a tranquilizer dart.

So please, ladies, stop treating it like a personality flaw. And don't let him have sex with you if he's also flying a helicopter at the time.

3. She Likes the Way You Move

The Conventional Wisdom

Supposedly, having some sweet dance moves like the Typewriter or a hot looking Moonwalk, will get chicks on your junk faster than you can say "Electric Slide."

Of course, the opposite holds true as well. If you've got the rhythm of an epileptic monkey then the odds are you're leaving the club alone.

Science Shows...

A researcher in England named Dr. Peter Lovatt spent many nights in dance clubs observing how women reacted to dancing guys, probably in hopes of picking up some pointers. What Dr. Lovatt (who followed in the footsteps of such great minds as Sir Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein in transitioning to science from the world of professional dance) discovered was that by mimicking those sexy Saturday Night Fever moves of John Travolta, you (he?) will stand a better chance of getting laid.

After first creepily watching guys dance at clubs from afar, the doctor increased the creepiness factor and filmed himself dancing many of those same styles, and then showed the videos to 55 women, who voted on which moves were the most attractive.

Later he figured he might as well make a science experiment out of it and shared his results with the world. Presumably because he could not handle all of the boobage that came his way after that video made the rounds.

2. Stay Away from Your Hot Cousin Unless You Want Deformed Flipper Babies

The Conventional Wisdom

If there's anything we can learn from our history lessons, it's that years and years of inbreeding leads to bad things. Just look at the royal families, where Charles II of Spain was thought by many people to be mentally retarded due to generations of inbreeding, or Prince Charles, who wound up with those terrifying ears.

Science Shows...

After 30 years of extensive research, which we assume involved spiking the punch bowls at many a family reunion and studying the shenanigans as they unfold, scientists in Western Australia have concluded that most babies born to first cousins are just as healthy as others.

If you're wondering why they felt the need to conduct this study in the first place, it's because the practice is remarkably common, at least by most standards, in that part of the world.

In Western Australia, there are at least 500 marriages between first cousins, and many more throughout the world (we're looking at you, West Virginia), making this research essential if we're ever to thwart any X-Men-style mutant uprising that could result.

1. Jocks Get All the Girls

The Conventional Wisdom

If we can learn anything from countless classic 80s movies and television shows, it's that rich kids and jocks get all the girls. Oh sure, every once in awhile a nerd from Lambda Lambda Lambda can steal the starting quarterback's woman, but more often than not you're going to end up being the Duckie to some pretty boy's Andrew McCarthy.

Science Shows...

Well we've got good news, Poindexter. Despite lacking the social skills and rugged good looks of your athletic counterparts, it turns out that chicks really do dig brains over brawn.

At least, that's what this study has concluded. As it turns out, it doesn't matter if a woman wants a long term relationship or just a little fling. The common denominator (that one's for you, dorks!) in what a woman really wants is a dude with a high IQ. No, seriously.

Using a series of tasks that apparently combined Survivor with Mr. Wizard, researchers filmed 15 different men ranging in intellect and athleticism and then showed those videos to 200 college-aged women. The men would then be judged based on perceived intelligence, creativity and the ability to do physical tasks like catching a Frisbee and kickboxing.

What the studies showed was that, more often than not, the creativity and overall braininess of these potential Dating Game-style suitors won out over simply being good looking. Now don't get us wrong, the study also showed that women still preferred guys who were the best of both worlds, being smart while still bearing an uncanny resemblance to Zack Morris.

We should also point out the study was carried out by scientists who were almost certainly nerds themselves. So maybe we shouldn't be surprised if the next study is called, "An Analysis of the Prevalence of Enormous Genitalia Among Scientists (and We Do Mean Enormous, Ladies)".

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Sexy Body - How do Men Really Feel?

Sexy body here, a sexy body there – everywhere you look – someone is telling you to get a sexy body and promising great rewards. Ladies, don’t waist your time striving for that sexy body - there’s good news and some basic things you need to learn about men.

First, men will always respond positively to a woman with a sexy body – it’s really not even a choice we have. When we see a woman with a sexy body – it’s hard not to notice.

But MANY other things are more important. Don’t let yourself be deceived by the billion dollar “sexy body” industry. There are other characteristics men would rather find in a woman or wife than a “sexy body”. Take a look at these five:

1) Stay fit and healthy. Men like women who exercise and stay fit – it shows you care about yourself, builds your self esteem and gives you confidence. All of which make you look better in his eyes. Just forget about the quest for that sexy body.

2) A woman with a strong desire to please her man in bed will look more sexy - in his eyes - than a babe with a super sexy body. Try it, lose your inhibitions and make your bedroom a place where his fantasies come true.

3) Lose the “I’m tired” stuff - everyone is tired – him too. When you’re chronically negative – for whatever reason – you will look less desirable in his eyes. Have you ever known an older woman (age 50 or so) who always seemed to act like she was in her 30’s? Men like that – work on acting younger he’ll begin to see you like you really do have a sexy body.

4) Men would rather be in a relationship with a woman who shows him true respect and admiration than with a blond babe sporting a super sexy body. It’s true, you’ll be looking like you’ve got a sexy body – in his eyes – when you show him true respect.

5) Often, women with a sexy body are quite devoted to themselves. After all, it takes a lot of work to maintain that look. Don’t be deceived, men grow tired of women who are only interested in themselves and how they look. Don’t misunderstand, it’s important that you take pride in your appearance, but don’t let it consume you – it will grow old in your man’s eyes.

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How To Be Sexy - Be Absolutely Stunning

So how to be sexy? Is it only about the looks or is there more to being sexy? Well to be honest with you looks have a very little role to play when it comes to being sexy and impressing people around you with your presence. Everyone wants to be sexy but not all of them know how. You can have the best looks and a perfect body but being sexy is much more than just good looks. Read on to discover how to be sexy and achieve mind blowing results.

How do you feel? - Being sexy is all about how you feel about yourself and your body. Some people are really good looking but still do not feel sexy therefore being sexy is all about feeling good about yourself and your body.

How confident are you? - The very next point on how to be sexy is how confident are you being in your body and being yourself. Do you feel comfortable being yourself? Are you happy with the way you are or are you always looking around at other people and trying to become like them? You see the point here is being confident in the way you are and not trying to become like someone else.

How do you carry yourself? - You don't have to be exceptionally good looking in order to be sexy. All you truly need to do is to carry yourself and your personality right. Being sexy is also about how well your groom yourself and the way you dress with style.

How well can you communicate? - Good looks and personality are useless if you don't know the true art of conversation. You would be mostly judged by the way you talk more than the way you look when it comes to being sexy.

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How to Make Him Chase You

If you're a single woman, you've heard the advice that playing hard to get is always the way to go. Even in today's dating world, that advice has a lot of truth to it.

We all know that men love the thrill of the chase and if you want to get and keep the man of your dreams you have to be willing to make him work to gain your affection. If you want to make him chase you, you need to understand exactly how to balance igniting his interest with being a little aloof.

There's been a lot of talk in the inner circles of single women about the benefit of being a bit standoffish when you first start seeing a man. Although you don't want to come across as being disinterested, you do want to create the illusion that you aren't at his beck and call. This means you should not always be available when he wants to see you and you should be a bit mysterious about what your plans are. Don't overtly say that you are seeing someone else, but hold back some details. You might want to tell him that you are having dinner with a friend. If you want to make him chase you, you must not appear too eager. This is one rule you simply can't ignore.

One mistake that many women make when they are trying to establish a deeper connection with a man they are interested in is they become intimate with him very quickly. Obviously the man isn't going to complain, but in his mind he may be wondering if this is your normal behavior and if every man you date gets the same treat. You don't want to come across as a tease, but it's a very good idea to hold off on the intimacy until you've let him chase after you a bit. If you give him everything up front, the pursuit of your affection becomes much less interesting to him. Enjoy his company, but don't take things to the next level too soon.

Don't put on a false front if you want to make him chase you. Some women think they need to embellish details of their lives in order to get a man interested. This approach will almost always backfire on you. You need to relax and completely be yourself when you are with him. Don't stifle any part of your personality and don't try and be something you're not. A man is interested in the real woman, not the woman you wish you were.

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Why Do Women Prefer Bad Men

There have always been arguments about what sort of men do women prefer.
It's always been said that women love to be around nice men but if that's the case then why is a that nice men always finish last.

Agree or disagree with the fact is that nice men do finish last when it comes to scoring a date with women. Women do prefer bad men but there is a reason for that. Read on to discover why women prefer bad men or nice guys.

It's challenging- one of the major reasons why women prefer bad men is simply due to the reason that bad men are more challenging than the nicer ones and this is common human nature that we always go for the things which are not easy for us to get and which provide us the challenge. Nice guys are often too easy to get therefore women think you can find one anywhere.

More confidence- Another reason why women go for bad men are simply due to the reason that bad men are more confident and more assured about themselves when it comes to the matter of self-esteem and being comfortable with oneself. Nice men are often low on self-esteem and confidence which becomes one of the reasons why they always end up finishing last.

Interesting- One of the major positive traits which bad men have is that they know how to achieve a woman amused for a long amount of time. Nice guys are often known to be boring and uninteresting due to the fact that they don't have anything much to offer women due to which the finish last.

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How to Attract Your Soul Mate

If you want to know how to attract your soul mate, you've come to the right place. To start with, it's somewhat of a good news/bad news situation.

The good news is that most of men are pretty easy!

The bad news is that a lot of guys are more interested in sex than soul mates.

Guys like that will just use you and throw you away like an old newspaper.

But if you're looking for true love... A soul mate who will love you and cherish you the rest of your life... That's a different kind of man all together... And these tips will help you find him.

I don't know you personally, but I do know a few things about you....

First off, I know you are a very special person. There are over six billion people on the planet and nobody else is just like you. There never was and never will be again. You are truly unique.

And I know there is a very special guy out there who is just right for you. There's somebody for each of us. Perhaps you haven't even met him yet, but he wants you just as much as you want him. In fact, he's already in love with you... He just doesn't know it yet!

And I also know your life is short and precious. You don't want to go through it alone or trapped in an unhappy marriage. So let's get started getting you two love birds together.

Here are 7 Love Tips from a guy who found his soul mate a long time ago.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #1... Look Your Best!

Like it or not, your appearance can play a major role at the start of a relationship. The importance of looks will diminish as your love matures, but in the very beginning, even before you first talk, comes the first impression... And you never get a second chance to make a good one.

I'm not saying you need to look like a fashion model, but you should look the best you can. Find out what style of clothes look good on you. Some women wear clothes that are entirely wrong for them. For example, something that looks just awful is a woman with an exposed midriff and a bulge of belly fat hanging over hip hugger jeans.

Wear something classy that is soft and feminine. Save the business suits for the office. And don't worry about it being the latest fashion or color. Dress up for your girl friends if you want, but most of us guys don't know or care what's in style this year.

Go easy on the cleavage. A guy wants that to be between you and him, not something you advertise to the world. You have a lot more to be proud of than your breast size. Don't worry, he will notice your curves, and he will love your modesty. There is something very sensual about that.

The multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry has women convinced they aren't beautiful without makeup, but it just isn't true. You should take good care of your hair and skin. Keep it clean, soft and slightly fragrant. We love that, but go easy on the heavy eye shadow and lipstick.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #2... Get Lucky!

They say, "Luck is where preparation meets opportunity". So once you've prepared your best look, go where you will have the opportunity to attract your soul mate.

An infamous bank robber was once asked why he robbed banks. His answer was "Because that's where the money is!" Go to places where the kind of man you want goes. If you want a guy who likes to drink, go to a bar. If you want a religious guy, go to church functions. If you want a guy who skis, head for the slopes.

And go to places you like to go. Take up a new hobby or sport. That gives you a chance to have fun and meet people. And if you do meet someone special there, you already have something in common. Common interests are important in a relationship because it gives you a good opportunity to spend quality time together.

And be clear in your mind about the kind of guy you want, so you will recognize him when you meet. But be careful about prejudging him based on appearance. When choosing a partner for life, looks aren't nearly as important as character. Men and women of good character come in all kinds of different packages. There are lots of pretty boys out there who aren't worthy of your love. Go for character first, looks second.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate #3... Smile!

Once you've attracted his attention, flash him a little smile which says you noticed him also. Most guys are a tad shy and hate getting rejected, especially in front of other guys. Your smile opens the door for him to make the next step.

You should practice your smile if you need to. Look in the mirror and think about the things that make you happy. Think of all your blessings and everything you have to be grateful for. That might be tough to do if you're holding a grudge. Do yourself a big favor and forgive anybody who has ever hurt you in any way. You don't have to forget, but try to forgive.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #4... Just Listen!

When he finally gets up the nerve to talk to you, be sincerely interested in what he has to say. Many guys work in jobs where they can't express themselves and welcome the opportunity to talk to someone who is interested in them.

Ask questions which draw him out instead of those that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #5... Say the Right Things!

But don't talk too much! We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Try to talk on subjects of mutual interest and subjects he is interested in.

Use his name in your conversations with him. We all like to hear our own name.

If you enjoy being with him, let him know. If you feel safe with him or love to talk with him, let him know. Tell him if you miss him when you're apart. Admire his kindness, manners or other admirable traits.

Avoid foul language. Try to avoid having being loud or having a shrill tone to your voice. Don't nag or argue. If you're wrong, admit it and apologize when you need to. Expect him to do the same.

Don't say "I love you" too soon. You might just scare him off if he hasn't yet realized he loves you too.

Don't bash your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. In fact, don't bad-mouth anybody. Don't gossip or say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say in front of them. If you can't say something good about someone, don't say anything.

Ask him to do you a small favor that you know he can handle. If he's tall maybe he can reach something for you. If he's a computer geek, maybe he can answer a software question. It's a curious phenomenon, but he will feel better about you after he does you a favor! We all like to be appreciated. Plus, this gives you an opportunity to return the favor and do something nice for him!

Everybody loves a good joke or story. Collect a few good ones to tell. You can also use them to send a message, without being too obvious.

Don't be afraid of silence. You don't have to be talking all the time to enjoy each others company.

Keep your phone conversations short and you be the one who "has to go". Leave him wanting more, but set up a time when he can call you back.

At the end of a date, tell him if you had a good time or say that you need to do it again some time. Or maybe say next time you'll treat. That leaves the door open for the next date.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #6... Do the Right Things!

Keep your first date short. Again, leave him wanting more!

Don't kiss on the first date and don't have intercourse until you're ready to start a family. And don't fall for the "If you love me you would" line. If he loved you, he wouldn't try to force you into doing something you're not ready for. True love waits.

Give him the time he needs to be alone or with his buddies, without laying a guilt trip on him. He should know that you missed him, but can get by without him.

Allow him to be a gentlemen... See if he was taught good manners. Let him hold the door and let him pay, at least for the first date. You can offer to leave the tip if you want to.

It's been said that the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. This is somewhat true. Us men are simple creatures and food is important to us. Be smart about it though. Find recipes that are both delicious and healthy. That's really impressive because it shows you care about his health.

Don't scare him off by appearing desperate or needy. Play a little hard to get. A confident attitude is attractive in men and women. Be independent. Stay busy. Have friends, interests and activities independent of him. Keep a little emotional distance until you're both ready to make a long term commitment.

How to Attract Your Soul Mate Tip #7... Don't Settle!

Don't settle for someone you don't really love... or someone who doesn't really love you.

And don't settle for a guy with deep character flaws, thinking you will change him later. If he changes at all, it will probably be for the worst. After all, if he doesn't treat you right when he's courting you, how do you think he will treat you later?

Listen to what he says, but pay more attention to what he does. How does he treat his mother and sister? That's a pretty good indication how much respect he has for women. How does he treat kids and old people? How about dogs and cats? Is he kind and decent?

Is he honest? If he will lie to one person under one set of circumstances, he will probably lie to you under another. Don't trust someone who is not worthy of your trust.

Don't hear wedding bells when you should be hearing alarm bells. Some warning signs include drug and/or alcohol addiction, driving under the influence, poor work ethic and abusive behavior. Don't ever allow a man to abuse you or the children.

You've probably heard the saying that "Love is blind". We tend to see only what we want to see and hear only what we want to hear. Let him meet your friends and family. See what they think of him. They want the best for you and can be more objective.

Somebody wise once said we should keep our eyes wide open before marriage... and half shut afterwards!

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Top 10 Male Turn On's

It is an undeniable fact that a man is powerless to the charms of a beautiful woman. All men, however, have a different definition of beauty. Regardless of how a man defines what he finds attractive in a woman, there are several common male turn ons that all men would agree to.

The following is a list of the top ten male turn ons:

1. Women who leave something to the imagination

As unbelievable as it sounds, men often prefer to be teased with a little taste of what is to come. This would include a woman who dresses to show a little skin, but not too much. For example, a female who offers the slight glimpse of a thong or a bra strap is often more seductive than one who is scantily clad. Women who maintain a certain degree of class are always more attractive to men than women who openly share all their secrets!

2. She is not afraid to admit that she loves sex

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the act of sex, and there are fewer things more attractive to a man than a woman who can admit this! Many men have a major obsession with sex, so a sexually confident woman with a healthy sex drive is a big turn on for them.

3. She has a strong sense of self-esteem

It is said that the dream of all men is to have a woman at his beck and call; au contraire, most men are looking for a woman who can think for herself. Men are hugely turned on by a woman who believes in herself and has the confidence to speak her mind. Men tire easily of women who constantly need to be reassured. A woman with self-esteem is more challenging and keeps men on their toes!

4. She knows how to talk dirty

It may sound cliché, but men love it when a woman talks dirty! For men, hearing a woman describe what she wants sexually is a turn on. Women who effortlessly talk dirty are exciting and hold the promise of amazing sex.

5. She loves her body

Men love to look at women’s bodies. It is no secret that men love a great pair of breasts or a lovely backside. Moreover, men love a woman who appreciates what she’s got and is not shy to show it. It is difficult to be turned on by a woman who is ashamed of her body, but a woman who embraces her attributes will always win the attention of eager men!

6. She has an accent

You have probably heard this one before and you may find it hard to believe, but true enough, an accent is a male turn on. Regardless of whether she is from Scotland or Spain, her accent will be perceived as exotic to a man. It is especially sexy when she is describing what she loves to do in bed!

7. She has a wicked sense of humor

A woman who can be funny is very attractive and approachable. Men are turned on by a witty woman; one who can dish it out as well as she can take it! A sense of humor adds playfulness to the relationship and always keeps them coming back for more!

8. She is adventurous

Women who are willing to try new things and live on the wild side will always win the attention of a man. Showing a free-spirited nature is sexy and a challenge for any man!

9. She is independent

Men do not like to think that every woman is seeking a lifetime commitment. Men are turned on by women who can have casual relationships, without attachment. An independent woman is self-sufficient and free to have fun!

10. She looks like a centerfold

We can all fantasize, can’t we? Men know that the majority of women do not look like Pamela Anderson, but that doesn’t keep them from wishing they could hook up with one who does.

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What Turns Sexy Women Off

No matter the subject it as always as useful to know what NOT to do, as it is to know what to do. I'm here to tell you, I am uniquely qualified to tell you how NOT to attract desirable sexy women. Why? Because I spent dang near 10 years perfecting that art before I stopped doing what doesn't work, and started doing what DOES work.
So, today, we're going to talk about what NOT to do when it comes to attraction. This will give you a handy guide of things to avoid when interacting with any sexy woman.

First off, don't try to impress her by talking about yourself, how much money you make, the playoff game you won, etc., etc. Believe me, she's heard all that before, by men who are smarter, better looking, and more successful than you or I. Instead, ask her genuine, open-ended questions about herself, and pay close attention to her answers. Shut off the conversation in your own head, and pay attention to her--you'll be amazed at how this creates attraction.

Don't ask her if "you can take her out," or if she "has a boyfriend," or if you can "have her number." You're letting her define the relationship, which sexy women HATE. In addition, questions like these activate subconscious processes that lead to autopilot answers (like NO!). It's the same thing as a salesperson asking you, "Can I help you?" and you saying, "No thanks, just looking." Switch the question to, "What specifically are you looking for?" and you'll get a better answer--same thing when setting up a second meeting with the woman you're talking to. "Let's continue this conversation over coffee sometime," works a heck of a lot better than, "Can I take you out?"

Don't shower her with compliments about her beauty, looks, etc.

She's already heard it, and knows you're trying to "compliment your way into her pants." Treat her like a human being, ask her about her hopes, dreams, and desires from a place of genuine interest, not the ulterior motive of getting your hands on her. Although it sounds obvious, this is actually a very subtle shift in thinking for most men--she'll pick up on the fact that you're NOT lusting after her, when every other guy she's talked to that day is... and start to wonder what's different about you. Give her a "bad time in a good way," teasing her about her looks, what she says, etc.

Attraction is a give and take, it has a rhythm to it. Switch from sincere to teasing, and back again--it's this switching that creates attraction.

Don't ask her, "So where do you want to go?" Take the lead, and suggest several places--"Hey, let's go here... sound good to you?" is much better than the above question. If she doesn't want to go there, then ask her for suggestions. Believe it or not, this was a big breakthrough for me--I always thought sexy women would be offended if I did this, but turns out they really enjoy it.

Don't plan your life around her--live your own. This kills more relationships than probably anything else--women want to be with a strong guy, not a surrogate mommy to a little kid.

Again, a lot of these things are common sense, but as they say, common sense ain't so common. Most of us are socially conditioned to do the things I just mentioned, and we actively have to avoid them. I know I do--even with everything I know, I occasionally find myself slipping back into the above behaviors, and they lead to predictable results--the death of attraction.


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Get Your Ex Back

Do you ever sit around, feeling sorry for yourself asking; when am I going to be reunited with my ex?

Is everyone happily married, or in a relationship, except for me?

Your ex boyfriend or partner may be the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Since he is no longer with you, chances are he will not jump out of your TV screen and he won’t turn up miraculously from under your duvet cover!

If you spend your time moaning to your friends about your ex, and telling them how much he has hurt you - it is time for you to make some big changes!

5 effective secret tips -to help get your ex back

Secret 1

During the break-up period with your ex he may have telephoned you occasionally, out of the blue; it’s now very important to keep any conversations that you have with him, to a minimum.

Secret 2

If your ex wants your attention, he will now have to work hard for it. For instance, he may start phoning you; because you are not chasing anymore. He might call you, to find out if you are all right; asking you how you are coping with the break-up, or even better, he is already missing you! Never be tempted to talk to him on the telephone; listening to his problems, or telling him just how heartbroken you are.

Secret 3

Dealing with mutual friends

STOP ‘bad mouthing’ or talking about your ex to mutual friends you share. The best secret concerning shared friends is to give the appearance of being happy at all times in their presence, even if you do feel like breaking down and crying. Keep mutual friends second guessing about you and what’s going on in your life. After all they may still be communicating with your ex. If that is the case you can use them to your advantage to make sure he knows that you are not an emotional wreck, just because you are now no longer together.

Secret 4

STOP driving past the place where he is living or working. After all, you do not want to be accused of stalking him!

Secret 5

Do not make the mistake of texting or emailing him constantly. This will just have you shouting at your cell phone screen “Come on, answer”, or checking every few minutes for a reply from him.

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5 Essentials For Great Sex For Married Couples

A common complaint for married couples is unsatisfactory sexuality. What makes great sex?

Here are 5 essential ingredients for not just healthy sex, but great sex!

1. Naked and Not Ashamed

Genesis 2:25 gives the building blocks to a solid foundation of a healthy marriage and sexuality: Intimacy. Dictionary.com defines shame as “the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, and ridiculous.” Adam and Eve had just met, and yet they felt “naked and not ashamed.” There was an emotional, physical, and spiritual safety. Great sex is a by product of such intimacy between two people.

2. Fly Solo with your Spouse

The sweetest sex occurs by taking the time to nurture the relationship with one person over time. Some say staying married to the same person is boring. Quite the contrary! It becomes an adventure to walk the twists and turns with your mate on this journey called life. We get to rediscover our spouse a new over time with the added benefit of knowing them from the past.

3. Have it!

In the busyness of life, it is amazing how easy sex is neglected in married couples. This can happen in all phases of marriage: newlywed, small children, adolescent children and empty nest. Somehow we think great sex comes when everything has to be perfect: the lighting, the place, the music. These are the icing, but sometimes you just have the cake, which can be equally satisfying.

4. Pleasurable techniques

Each spouse desires to satisfy their spouse sexually, yet may feel inadequate because they may lack the practical know-how. A good place to start is to just begin touching one another, especially the erogenous zones of the body: the gentials and breasts. Then share your preferences with one another. Do some research on fulfilling lovemaking techniques and utilze them.

5. Communication

Communication is simply talking about everything that makes sex better. Ambience, places, technique, and frequency are good ideas to begin to discuss with your spouse. If you want pleasurable lovemaking, then you must communicate your likes to your spouse. He/she cannot read your mind. You and your spouse can become the best sex coaches for your marriage if you are willing to communicate your sexual needs and desires.

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Had Enough of Cheating?

Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let’s begin by taking a look at that before going any further.


Even though it always seems and is horribly unfair to any victim of infidelity, there are always two sides to every story.

The person who cheats doesn’t easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once and never repeat the mistake. Some will continue the practice until they feel satiated. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you are considering how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again.

The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one cheats are situations where the Cheater confesses. People who admit to cheating without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases it’s because they were completely frustrated with their life.

Regardless of the cause, Frustration is a powerful emotion that can cause people to seek escape. Some will escape by abandoning a relationship or family, others will escape by cheating and many just become abusive because they do not know how to handle what they‘re feeling. These are all bad choices brought on by the sensation that they have become boxed in to a situation that constantly frustrates them. Although unfortunate, sometimes the act of cheating brought on by frustration is a catalyst for both parties to come together in a productive way that wasn‘t previously possible.

The worst-case scenario for reconciliation involves people who cheat for selfish reasons. Although they may justify their actions with psychobabble, habitual Cheaters will emotionally destroy many partners, break families apart and go through a large number of relationships before they stop or simply run out of steam. These are nightmare partners that everyone should take extra caution to avoid. Unfortunately, they also tend to be extremely effective at deception and appear very desirable. Not surprisingly, these people are the hardest for cheating victims to walk away from.

The foremost consideration anyone who has been burned by cheating has to think about is the desire of the person who betrayed them for reconciliation. You cannot go to them; they have to come to you. Once they do, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for their actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight on to yourself.

It is important to be sure, you can live with their betrayal of your relationship before you go further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious circle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of damage they have or could have done.

It’s easy to believe that a Cheater cheats himself or herself more then anyone else in terms of losing the ability to enjoy a meaningful relationship. However, many Cheaters leave ruined lives in their wake. Whether it’s innocent children who end in a broken home or a former partner who is left emotionally destroyed, some one besides themselves often pays for what a Cheater does.

If you can move past forgiveness and making sure the Cheater understands how devastating their act was, it’s time for some serious work to begin on mending the relationship. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, once in a while meet ups or anything.

Apart from staring at internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbor’s yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things will never be the same between yourself and your partner again. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.

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Rules of Online Dating

If you’re bored of regular dating or you’ve heard of this thing called online dating and you’re curious to try it out, why not? Similar to dating you can still meet men, make friends and perhaps even more!


But online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it. Online dating may seem to be the simplest thing in the world but it is not. It should be viewed in all earnestness or things could go hay wire. Every game has its rules and unless you know all the rules you just can’t become a good player and eventually a winner.

Online dating is, to put is very simply a free dating service that with the help of a machine namely the computer via the Internet. That in itself makes the idea and the process a very novel one indeed. Hundreds of happy single people across the globe have been successful in finding suitable partners by the means of online dating.

The reason is pretty simple. It is very much the same reason that the internet itself became so popular. The Internet opens up a whole new world of communication and contact. Online dating is fast, you can have as much privacy as you want and it’s cheap!

In order to enjoy it and succeed at online dating there are a few rules to remember and they are:

• If you don’t know where to start internet dating, just hit some chat rooms of your interest. There you’ll be able to meet interesting people who have the same hobbies and preferences.

• You can either write your own personal ad or get a dating service to do it for you. It’s of course better if you can write your own personals to give it your special touch. Feel free to embellish on certain details but as much as possible be honest with what you put in it. It is of course important to remember that people will judge you depending on what you write so you might want to be careful about that.

• After you’ve met someone you think you’re interested in, get to know them better by moving into a private chat room with them.

• Don’t worry about making mistakes and goofing up when you’re trying out online dating. You are hidden behind the anonymity of the internet and you can erase your mistakes a lot easier than you could if you had goofed up in real life. So just go out there and chat up a storm with anyone who seems remotely interesting.

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Relationship's Problems

If you’ve never been in a relationship before than it’s no surprise that you wouldn’t know what to do. But don’t panic, being in romantic relationships can be very rewarding and you might actually enjoy it compared to dating and one night stands. However like everything else being in a relationship has its problems.

The way to enjoy a relationship is to try to avoid as many of these problems as possible. And when you can’t you have to be willing to work things out in order to salvage your relationship instead of just deciding that things are not working out at the first sign of trouble.

Romantic relationships can work but you have to put effort into making it work. The first thing to remember is that when you are in a relationship, it involves two people. And the most important thing you need to do in a relationship is to compromise. Learn that you can’t always have your way, but you have to know when to put your foot down. Giving and taking is part of life and is crucial to keeping a relationship successful. As a man it is vital that you figure out when you need to give. Over giving is a turn off because women will start to view you as a pushover. So just like dating, remember to be nice but not too nice.

Women also love men who are thoughtful so making dinner arrangements, surprising her with dates and romantic gifts also help keep the relationship afloat. Again you can’t do this too often or she will come to expect it. Worse she will assume that you’ve done something wrong and you would have created problems for yourself when nothing was wrong with your relationship in the first place.

The next part of maintaining romantic relationships comes from communicating with your partner. You have to understand that women and men communicate differently. A lot of relationship problems actually occur because of simple misunderstandings when the couples are unable to communicate with one another. Take the time to understand your partner and how she is feeling (especially when she is emotional and needs time to calm down). I’m not saying that you need to take the emotional rubbish that women dish out but you have to try to understand where she is coming from and deal with it appropriately and not just slam the door on your way out.

Of course the biggest problem that relationships deal with are jealousy and betrayal. It would help greatly if neither your or your girlfriend are cheating types of course. As for jealousy if your girlfriend is the jealous type, either dump her if you can’t deal with that, or work out an arrangement with her. Get her to understand that woman A is just a close friend or colleague and nothing more. If you have jealousy issues you might want to meet up with her guy friend and who knows, you could be best of friends. But if that doesn’t work out, the best way to deal with it is to try to get over the jealousy issue because if you continue to harp at it your relationship will fail and that guy would have won.

Romantic relationships will come across problems. This is normal and the only way for you to ensure that you can maintain your relationship is to avoid as many of them as you can is to not give up on it. If you don’t think you can commit to a relationship then its better not to get into one at all because it will come with a whole bunch of problems that you might not have been ready to face.

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Body Language When Dating

If you’re on a first date and you’re trying to figure out what Mr. or Ms. Potentially Right thinks about you, look downward.

“The key to a man’s heart isn’t his stomach. It’s his feet,” says Lisa Daily, author of “Stop Getting Dumped!” (Subtitle: “All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry ‘The One’ in 3 Years or Less.”)

As it turns out, the foot rule also applies to women.

“Watch the feet of the person you’re attracted to,” she tips. “People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to ‘line up’ with the other person. Where the toes point, the heart follows.”

When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date, trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks you’re hot (or not), body language is the smoking gun, my dear Watson.

“Even if we’ve got our game faces on, the body doesn’t lie,” Daily says.

In fact, studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal, according to Mari Smith, a relationship coach based in San Diego, California. The other 93% is nonverbal.

Tips & Clues

Men send out the following tips when they’re interested in you, according to Daily and Smith:

• Smiling.
• Extended eye contact.
• Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties, pulling up their socks).
• Upright stance or posture.
• Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock).
• Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs, cash, their cars).

“He may have one hand in his pocket, with his thumb sticking out, or tuck his thumbs in his belt,” Smith adds.

As for the so-called “fairer” sex, look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman:

• Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men).
• Leaning inward or toward you.
• Exposing her neck, hands or palms.
• Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully.
• Crossing and uncrossing her legs.
• Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass, straw, pen or cigarette. (Paging Dr. Freud…)

“Houston, We Have a Problem”

“For both sexes, there are also signs that things are not going well,” says Daily, who notes that distasteful dates, traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for “a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package.”

Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync. “He’s a slow talker, while she’s a thousand-words-a-minute,” she says.

Defensive body language—arms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area.

Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak.

“When someone is not interested in you, they will typically point their body and feet away from you and position themselves at a greater distance,” Smith adds.

Saying Goodnight…or Saying Goodbye?

As your date winds down, other cues foreshadow your relationship’s future.

“If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back, it’s a sign of discomfort,” Daily says. “The more uncomfortable your date feels, the bigger the pat. The other obvious, not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kiss—and getting a handshake instead.” (Ouch!)

Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date, with firm plans—not just “let’s do this again” or “I’ll call you sometime,” Daily says.

The Flirt Factor

Flirting with your date—and being on the receiving end—meets Sherlock’s criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship.

Daily takes it one step further, asserting that flirting is “absolutely necessary.”

“Flirting is how we communicate our interest—and how we connect emotionally before we connect physically,” she says. “Generally, flirting is harmless, but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the ‘flirtee.’ The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch. If she backs down, she was probably just flirting for fun. If she escalates the flirting in turn, she’s communicating interest.”

“Use attitude, voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you,” advises Nicholas Boothman, a communication specialist and author of “ How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less.” He encourages those he counsels to learn to “access—and rev up—your sex appeal, without going over the top.”

Translation?

Create chemistry by mirroring your partner’s physical presence and verbal behavior.

“When you synchronize your overall body language, your tone, the speed and volume of your voice, and even the type of words you use—as well as your attitude—people feel safe, familiar and trusting with you,” he tells.

Smith believes women have the edge—and a lot more fun—when it comes to flirting. (Sorry, guys…)

“Playful, lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women,” she says, “and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun. It certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interest—and make sure you’re sending the right message!”

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Save Your Marriage

Every marriage has its ups and downs, its rough periods. Even in the best of circumstances, there are going to be difficult times.

People change.

Circumstances change.

Emotions change.

Over time, the natural ebb and flow of everyday life places incredible pressure on a relationship.

Almost unnoticed at first, you begin to think thoughts that had once been unthinkable. "I love him, but I'm not in love with him. Not anymore." "I'm not attracted to her, not like I was in the beginning." "Maybe if we separated for awhile ..."

The skies can darken in a hurry.

But if you survive these darkest of times, you may find you emerge with a stronger, more trusting relationship than you ever imagined possible.

Here are a few tips that might help you toward that goal ...

Have a clear understanding of your expectations. Couples rarely take the time to discuss how the little things will work. What does romance mean to each of you? How will the finances be handled? How will your children be raised? What role will religion play in your relationship? What makes you feel loved? What hurts you? How will arguments be resolved? How will decisions be made? What do you need from your spouse, what does your spouse need from you?

Don't fight unfairly. There will always be disagreements. Deal with the matter at hand. Don't drudge up all your hurts and disappointments from the past. Those are different matters, to be handled separately, at a different time. Keep focused on the issue under discussion and avoid muddying the waters with generalized personal attacks ("You're always nagging." "You never do anything unless I tell you to do it first.")

Face the issues that are facing you. Hiding from reality never leads to a happy ending. If you're experiencing financial problems, admit it, get it out in the open.

Be honest with yourself. Take a step back and give yourself a good long look in the mirror. If your behavior is undermining your relationship (whether it's the way you communicate, or how you treat your spouse, or your personal destructive behavior) own up to it.

Take the initiative. Understand that waiting for your spouse to change first will likely result in no change at all. Actions come first. Thoughts and feelings follow. Change your behaviors and watch your spouse's behaviors change in response.

Rebuild compatibility. Time has a way of unveiling the differences between couples, especially when your marriage is in trouble. Seek out those interests you have in common with your spouse. Look for opportunities to share activities together. Perhaps it's ballroom dancing, or photography, or camping, or trips to the beach.

Remember what it was like when you were dating. What was it that first attracted you to your spouse? What made you first fall in love? How can those feelings be rekindled?

Keep your sense of humor. Life is challenging enough without having to live with a brooding, angry spouse. Laugh out loud the way you did when you were a kid. Happiness is a choice. Exercise it.

Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till ... well you know the rest. Unfortunately, for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life have doused its wonderful positive aspects.

Maybe it's time to rekindle the magic.

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Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love.

Attraction usually involves an instant decision of like or dislike, based on our own subconscious criteria. If we meet someone in person, we tend to size them up physically.

If we meet through letters or phone conversation or internet chat, we tend to size them up, over a longer term, by how well they converse and how interesting (or complimentary) they are while we interact with them.

It is true that people can act however they want, be whatever they want to be, over the internet. But eventually the true person leaks through the cracks and we begin to see their true self. Moral of the story? It’s best to be your real self. You may eventually want to meet the person on the other end of the conversation.

On the other hand, when you do meet the ‘real’ person on the other end, remember that you have grown to like that person because of what’s inside their mind and heart. You have found a potential ‘soul mate’ who thinks as you think and feels much the same way that you feel.

No one is perfect. We all have our own flaws and shortcomings. The concept of finding the ‘right’ person is good. The concept of finding the ‘perfect’ person is improbable and discouraging, because ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.

The way this person looks, their physical appearance, isn’t as important as their inner looks, or soul. What we see is what we get, and hopefully the heart ranks the highest. We fall in love with someone’s soul, not the shape or size of their body. And although a certain number of things can be done to improve physical appearance, that shouldn’t be our main criteria or requirement for friendship or companionship.

We fall in love with their heart. With their inner self. With their true being. And that’s what matters most.

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Relationship ending points

5 signs it's time to call it quits!

When you meet a fabulous guy and fall in love, the last thing on your mind is how or when it's going to end. You might be so head-over-heels that you miss some signs that this relationship is going nowhere fast. When navigating through love relationships, what becomes important is the ability to read the telling signs of a relationship that has completed its course and when to not hang on.
So, when do you really know that your love relationship is over? Admitting to any or all of these checklist items could mean it's time for you to call it quits.

1. Your needs are consistently not being met
Your beau used to add romance to just about everything and shower your with affection. But lately, it's not just cooling off -- it's ice cold. Couples who are no longer together admit that they experienced a longstanding history of feeling as though their needs were no longer being met. Words of encouragement and support that were once commonplace are now largely absent. Other examples include one or both members of a couple refraining from sex, intimacy, and/or affection. Feeling as though your needs are not being met leads to resentment, withholding, and anger.

2. There are critical or unresolved issues
One good reason for couples to partake in counselling at different times over the course of their relationship is to help them find healthy and constructive ways of resolving conflict. Over time, a relationship has the potential to accumulate unresolved issues and problems, but if you don't know how to get to a satisfactory resolution you might find you and your man in a less-than-pretty stalemate. The issue gets buried until a later time – creating another unresolved conflict. Relationships with a large list of unsolved conflicts become suffocated by the weight of these. Newer relationships that continue to face unresolved differences and conflict don't have a long-term future.

3. Bad behaviour, bad excuses
Ladies, we all need to honour our self-defined 'deal breakers' -- the things that you simply won't tolerate in your relationship under any circumstances. Making excuses for bad behaviour (betrayal of trust, infidelity, violent behaviour, etc.) are a tell tale sign that you are not willing to take an honest look at what's wrong with your relationship. If your former Prince Charming does the unthinkable, the relationship needs to be over.

4. Negative impact
When a relationship creates an ongoing source of tension, conflict, frustration, anger and unhappiness it's time to say sayonara. A healthy relationship is one that contributes (rather than negatively affects) the overall quality of your life.

5. Sense of disconnection
An emotional or spiritual incompatibility occurs when one or both partners begin to confide in members of the opposite gender for emotional support and comfort. So, if you're sharing your inner most feelings with the cute guy at work, rather than your partner, you need to assess your relationship. It's as if you and your partner have run out of things to say, behaving more like roommates than lovers, living separate, albeit, parallel lives.

Recognizing that your relationship has fatal flaws doesn't mean you need to point fingers of blame at yourself or your partner. It does mean that you need to stop investing time and energy in what isn't working, and instead look ahead to what it is you really want from a love relationship.


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Sexual healing: The benefits of sex

It can burn calories, ward off disease and even help you look younger. Sex isn't just good; it's good for you!
The Economist has declared that sleep is the new sex as a trend for 2008. But don't ditch your lace undies for cozy flannels yet. Just as a good night's sleep will do wonders for your mood, a joyful jump in the hay will keep you fit and stress-free. And even if you occasionally pull a Meg Ryan and fake it, you'll still reap the rewards. "Even without an orgasm, sexual activity releases sex hormones that have beneficial effects on our immune, cardiovascular and neurological systems," says Dr. Ted Jablonski, a clinical associate at the Sexual Health Clinic in Calgary. Here are five reasons why you should do it.

Sexercise
Forget Bikram yoga class; a little sweaty sexercise might be an easier way to get your cardio and strength training. Researchers at The University of Sheffield in the United Kingdom studied 70 couples and found that those who had regular sex were in better physical shape than those whose lovemaking sessions were more sporadic. Not surprising, says Dr. Cedric Bryant, chief science officer for the American Council on Exercise. "You get some cardio benefits from having sex," he says. "It raises your heart rate and burns 150 to 200 calories an hour -- that's equivalent to a brisk walk." (Even if you're not rounding home right away, kissing alone uses 29 muscles and torches 20 calories per minute, according to research by Beiersdorf AG, the makers of NIVEA Lip Care.) Sex can also build muscle. "Depending on your position, it can add muscular training and conditioning as well as core stability from maintaining positions," says Bryant.

Happy hour
The next time you're feeling gloomy, skip the Ben & Jerry's -- some X-rated canoodling could be a better way to beat the blahs. Researchers at Arizona State University asked 58 women to record their moods and levels of sexual activity and physical affection over 36 weeks. Those women who experienced both affection and sex reported being in a better mood the next day. Chalk it up to endorphins -- neurotransmitters that are released during sexual activity, says Jablonski. "Endorphins are produced in the brain and make you feel happy -- almost giddy," he says. "This is what causes that classic 'afterglow' phenomenon."

First aid
Marvin Gaye was onto something when he called it "sexual healing." During intercourse, two chemicals are released in the body: endorphins and oxytocin; together, they act as a powerful opiate. (A study at the University of Vienna found that women's oxytocin levels increase significantly as quickly as one minute after an orgasm.) So, if you have a headache, the horizontal mambo could be just what the doctor ordered. "Studies have shown that sex increases your pain threshold for ailments such as migraines and even menstrual cramps," says Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, a gynecologist and professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Medical Center in New York.

Big chill
We all know that stress is bad for us; luckily, we can have fun getting rid of its unhealthy side effects. Stuart Brody, a professor at the University of Paisley in Scotland, found that having sex can help lower your blood pressure when you're reacting to stressful situations. In a 2006 study that examined
24 women and 22 men, those who had penile-vaginal intercourse had better stress responses than those who abstained or participated in other sexual activities, such as masturbation. Again, it's because of oxytocin, says Lisa Martinez, executive director of The Women's Sexual Health Foundation in Ohio. "The hormone creates a sense of well-being and happiness," adds Hutcherson.

Forever young
Sure, a visit to the dermatologist's office might help eradicate a wrinkle or two. But hitting it with your partner could give you even greater anti-aging benefits. A study of 3,500 people at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland found that couples who had sex at least three times a week looked at least 10 years younger than those who had sex twice a week. Regular sex can boost your immune system too: a 2004 study at Wilkes University in
Pennsylvania found that those who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A -- an antibody that plays a critical role in the immune system -- than those who had sex less often.

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