Secrets To A Slim And Sexy Butt

One of the most asked questions from women are what are the best butt exercises to firm my butt? This area seems to be a problem area for most women, and if you do the right exercises, you can see some great results.

Here are the 3 top exercises that every woman needs to know if they want a slim and sexy butt:

1. Squats- This is a great exercise that will help shape your glutes and upper thighs. To perform a squat you would pretend as if you are going to sit down on a chair, with feet shoulder width apart, knees bent, and hold weights at your side. It’Keep your head up and make sure that your back is upright and feet are pointed straight ahead. If your feet are pointed outward it may cause your hips to be tight. The deeper you go, the more you feel your glutes activated. Do anywhere from 8-15 repetitions. Another version of the squat is called a pop squat. This is similar to a squat, using no weight. Simply stay in a squat position with knees bent and jump up and pull your feet together and jump out with feet apart and repeat this movement. Perform 15-30 repetitions. To make this more challenging swing your arms all the way up when you jump up and try jumping up as high as you can off the ground. A few sets of these and you will be seeing your butt looking slim and sexy in no time.

2. Single Leg Deadlift- This exercise requires balance. Start out with a lighter weight until you get the hang of it. Simply stand on one leg and keep your knee bent. The other leg should be off the ground, so that your weight is all on one leg. Bend at your waist and hold a weight on the same side that you are going down on. As you bend at your waist, make sure the weight is in front of your leg. The idea is to touch the weight to the ground or as close as possible, then come back up and repeat. Perform 8-15 repetitions and switch legs. Performing this exercise one leg at a time you are burning more calories and doing twice the work, which means getting you closer to a slim and sexy butt.

3. Lunges-These are great for shaping the whole leg all the way up to your butt. You can perform what is called a walking lunge with weights or without. If you are doing this with weights, you would hold the weights by your side and walk. Make sure as you walk you are bending your knee and lunging forward. Keep you head up and back straight. Also, make sure that your knee doesn’t go over your toe. Count on each leg moving forward about 16-20 steps and back, this is equal to 1 set. There are other ways you can perform a lunge. Another way is to do them in place and alternate between each leg.

These 3 exercises are the best in slimming and sculpting a sexy butt, as well as burning calories. Forget about doing leg lifts, these just don’t produce the results to a firm butt, since they don’t activate the glute muscles as they should. If you stick with these simple exercises you will get results.

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Sexy Back Tattoos

Everybody’s seen the image of the sexy vixen. She’s thin, she’s smart, she’s witty, she’s outspoken, she’s the envy of every woman and the desire of every man - and she’s probably got one or more sexy back tattoos. Do you think it’s a coincidence? Think again.

Women who get tattoos today are still considered a bit tempting and transgressing. Perhaps it is the indelible nature of the tattoo, or possibly the fact that she is being a little bit rebellious. Probably, both of these ideas are true.

The woman who gets a sexy tattoo is a woman who knows what she wants - and who usually gets it, too. She’s not afraid to make a decision and go for it. She knows that the decision she’s making is one to last a lifetime, but she’s not scared. Instead, she’s eager to show just how happy and confident she is at this point in her life, and she probably wants to remember it forever.

This woman is probably a little bit rebellious, too. She isn’t afraid to stretch, bend, and sometimes break the rules. By getting a tattoo, she’s making a definite statement, saying, “This is who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it!” She’s not going to let anyone else tell her what it means to be feminine or to be a woman. If she wants a tattoo, then she’s going to get it, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

These women are quick-witted as well. Even though it is not fair, many people condescend toward women with tattoos. Therefore, even though this tattoo is undeniably sexy, this lady is aware that she will have to conceal it at times. Her back is the perfect location for a tattoo - she can flaunt her masterpiece by wearing short shirts and low-rise jeans, but when she needs to cover it up for business, she can hide her secret safely with a well-tailored suit.

The back is not only clever - it’s also very sexy! Men are undeniably attracted to the woman’s back. Its skin is smooth and soft; its curves are subtle, sexy, and oh-so-tempting. By getting a sexy tattoo on her back, this woman is drawing attention to one of her most flattering features.

Another great reason to choose the back for a tattoo is that it won’t hurt too badly. Some places on the body have more nerve endings than others. The wrist, for example, or the neck are frequently very painful. The skin on the back is not as sensitive, and because it is not exposed to the elements, it will hurt less and heal quickly.

The most important thing to remember about sexy back tattoos is that YOU are what makes them sexy! You can tattoo anything you want - your name, a flower, a knot, or a symbol - whatever is important to you. The sexy part is how you wear the tattoo, and when you’ve made such an empowering decision, you’ve got every reason to flaunt it.

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5 Steps To Creating A Life You Love

You’re probably reading this because you want to make changes in your career or another important area of your life. Maybe you don’t know exactly what those changes should be - or perhaps you know but are having trouble actually carrying them out.

I’d like to share a simple 5 step process that will help you find clarity and achieve your goals as painlessly as possible.

STEP 1 Analyse where you are now.

Ask yourself these 3 important questions:

1. What’s great about your life or job, right now? You’ll want to make sure these elements survive any transition.

2. What are your skills and strengths? Consider taking a psychometric instrument such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The MBTI highlights your natural strengths and provides useful insight into the sorts of roles and environments which would allow you to flourish.

3. What motivates you? Identify your top values by reflecting on what you most enjoy doing, and asking yourself why that activity is important to you. For example if you enjoy writing, why is that? Self expression, creativity, or communication are all possible values you might respond with.

STEP 2 Where do you want to be?

Paint a vivid picture of what you would like to be doing and where you would like to be doing it.

Make sure this vision of your new work and lifestyle gives you the opportunity to express your most important values. Find something that symbolizes this endpoint for you. Maybe a photo, or a quote, or a clipping from a magazine. Display it prominently! If part of the problem is that you don’t have a clear idea of where you want to be, try to pin down what it is you don’t want. This is usually a lot easier! List tasks, environments, types of people, situations and topics that drain, irritate or upset you. Then turn it round - what would the opposite look like? If you have too many potential avenues, prioritise. Which one would you most regret never exploring?

STEP 3 Bridge the gap

Turn your vision into SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound)and break these down into smaller steps. Assign dates. If you don’t know what all of the actions are, who do you need to talk to, or what desk research can you do, to find out? Put your plan somewhere you will see it every day.

STEP 4 Remove obstacles

What’s stopped you achieving goals in the past? How can you prevent a repetition. What potential new obstacles do you foresee. How can you avoid them? What additional resources do you need: time, money, people, information? What do you need to do to put these in place. Isolation is a common obstacle. Enlist the support of family and friends and keep them informed and interested in what you are doing.

STEP 5 Keep Going!

Create some momentum - try to do something small towards your goal every day. Be philosophical: treat “failures” as part of the learning curve. Celebrate as you tick off each milestone Perseverance is key. Keep your sense of humour, and remember nothing worthwhile is ever easy!

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The Perfect Chocolate

Chocolate is the new ‘Black’. Its making waves in all the health circles, as its health benefits appeal to medical and health practitioners with diverse educations and specialties. Laboratory studies reveal its potent anti-oxidant actions, and ‘chocolate parties’ reveal a great many other positive effects.

We’ve all seen the surveys where many women would prefer chocolate over love making (this does not seem to be the case in European countries, however); add to this the results of an Italian study mentioning that women who eat chocolate have enjoyment in the bedroom, and the subject gets a little spicy. Spicy enough even to consider adding a healthy dose of chocolate to your life? Need more reasons? Chocolate makes your bones more dense, it prevents heart disease, its thought to attract abundance, and its full of mood-boosting and intelligence-boosting neurotransmitter precursors. Healthy, wealthy, wise and happy. So it is as easy and eating all the Hershey’s bars you can get a hold of? Well, not quite…

Like so many things in our modern world, its the processing of chocolate that makes all the difference. This isn’t just the New Age Hippy types saying this either (as one, the author feels comfortable making this statement). The scientists measuring all the chemicals in our food, telling us which bits are good and which are bad are saying it too. It’s RAW, minimally-processed chocolate that’s the miracle food. Un-roasted, un-cooked plain old powdered chocolate, better known as ‘Cacao’, is far superior in every way for your health. Cacao is one of the few foods on the planet now being called a ‘super’-food, as it’s nutrient density is so high and its health benefits are so great. Note that ‘organic’ does not mean ‘raw’. Even the premium organic hot-chocolate powders found in the high-end health food stores is still roasted and usually processed with alkali (called ‘Dutch Processing’, making it easier to dissolve in water, and destroying most of the antioxidants at the same time). This means that 99% of the chocolate products on the shelves are NOT the superfood you wished they were, but it also points the direction to how to include chocolate in your life on an exceptionally health daily basis. We’ll get to some recipes in a moment, but first a few points to help you remember why raw chocolate is where it’s at.

First the question of Caffeine. Many folks are sensitive to caffeine’s effect on their nervous system. It raises blood pressure, shortens tempers and keeps people awake. There are however, significant differences in the alkaloid structures of raw and roasted chocolate. Raw chocolate’s stimulation comes primarily from theobromine, which has little anxiety producing effects. Studies by natural wellness professionals and user reports both note that while commercially prepared dark chocolate has a very stimulating action that caffeine sensitive individuals may find too strong, an equivalent amount of raw cacao does not. The stimulating effects are reported mild, gentle, and without a ‘crash’ that is often associated with caffeine. A reason for mothers to think about creating their own raw chocolate treats for their children, too. The jury is still out on the actual amount if caffeine in raw chocolate; some investigators have found none, some have found small amounts in the ‘skin’ of the cacao beans, and others of found only small amounts in beans that have fermented somewhat (an indication of a lower-quality cacao). Either way, if you’ve refrained from chocolate because of it’s caffeine content, raw cacao may just be your answer to enjoying this treat again.

The really big news about chocolate has been it’s antioxidant profile. Chocolate contains significant amounts of polyphenols—the same important antioxidants found in green tea, red wine and green apples—but in greater amounts. Dark chocolate contains an impressive 5% of these compounds, yet raw chocolate is made up of an incredible 10% concentration of these possibly life-extending molecules. Both roasting and processing with alkali (to make Dutch cocoa) reduce antioxidant concentration. Further, the increased absorbability of powdered raw cacao (perhaps the most versatile form of raw chocolate) over cacao nibs give them an edge in ORAC value, a measure of Oxidative Radical Absorbance Capacity.

Maybe the most intriguing constituents of chocolate are it’s mood-altering chemicals besides its stimulation. Many users of raw chocolate find and even greater boost than from commercial chocolates. Like caffeine, some of the molecules attributed to mood-enhancement are also heat sensitive. Tryptophan, a precursor to serotonin, is present in significant amounts and is known to be broken down by heat (and apparently it’s not the Tryptophan in the turkey dinners that makes one tired, it’s the three servings followed by pie and ice cream!). Other natural constituents are dopamine and precursors to dopamine, one molecule called the ‘love chemical’ and another called the ‘bliss chemical’. Add to these monoamine oxidase inhibitors which actually enhance the activity of all of the above mood brighteners. Finally, there’s lots of easily absorbed magnesium in raw chocolate, a mineral associated with serotonin production (many pharmaceutical antidepressants increase serotonin activity), and the ability to relax. Raw chocolate offers the healthiest and most effective means of adding these happy-making nutrients to your daily diet.

Need more be said? Ready for some recipes? The simplest means of eating raw chocolate is snacking on cacao nibs. These are small pieces of cacao beans that mix well with natural granolas or dried fruit. To really get the most benefits, and for the most delicious raw chocolate creations, find yourself a source of raw organic cacao powder. The powder can be added to any drink, or easily made into bars, drops or other shaped candies. By far the most often enjoyed recipe for raw chocolate powder is the simple chocolate drink: Put one heaping tablespoon raw cacao powder, one teaspoon raw agave nectar, and one teaspoon high quality coconut oil in a blender (note that coconut oil quality varies greatly - a good coconut oil should taste pleasant by itself and have no chemical or rancid flavor which would otherwise be noticed in your chocolate drink). Add eight to twelve ounces of hot (but not boiling water) and blend at low speed for about ten seconds. That’s it; Chocolate magic that’s easily adjusted to your tastes—experimenting in whatever way comes to mind is highly encouraged.

There are lots and lots of recipes out there, and great reading on raw chocolate’s health benefits and preparation. You’ll cacao powder often combined with other super nutritious foods in smoothies and good-for-you deserts. Natural organic candies start with the same ingredients as the drinks, but without the liquid. Mixing the chocolate and coconut oil is easiest with your hands (as this gently melts the coconut oil)—making a paste to which you can add any little natural crunchy treats. As you’re not baking anything, there’s little to go awry, and really, so many possibilities. By using raw chocolate, you’ll open up a whole new world of cooking for yourself and your family—and if you hadn’t before, you might just find yourself really motivated to treat yourself to natural health and wellness.

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How Perfumes Make You Sexy

What attracts you to the opposite sex?

What makes a guy and a girl fall in love?

Is it the way they look?

Things they have in common?

A special connection?

Or is it the way they smell to each other?

Actually, the way you smell plays an important part in the mating game. It is true in the animal world. Like it or not, it is also true among people.

Ever heard about pheromones? That is the secret of sexual attraction.

In the animal world, pheromones attract member the opposite sex irresistably when the animal is in heat. Think about the female cat who attracts male cats in droves, who fight over her when she is in heat.

Among insects, a starving cockroach on the verge of dying from hunger would rather follow the source of pheromones with the hope of mating, rather than go for the food that would save his life.

Humans are not spared from the effects of pheromones either. That fuzzy feeling a woman gets near the presence of her special guy could well be due to pheromones. Likewise, men are attracted to a woman, by her looks, her personality, and the pheromones she produces.

Everyone has a million apocrine glands whose sole function is to produce a smell. These only become active upon puberty. Upon sexual maturity. A sex scent, if you will.

Did you know that in certain parts of the world, during village dances, girls would hold slices of apple in their armpits while they dance. Then, they would offer the sweat soaked apples to the guys they fancy.

Perfumes as we know them were first used by Egyptians to embalm the dead bodies of mummies. Later, perfumes were used before sex. To get both parties in a more romantic mood.

Jasmine, patchouli, sandalwood, rose, ylang ylang and a number of other aromatherapy oils used in perfumery are known for their aphrodisiac properties.

I remember reading an amusing incident about a guy who used sandalwood as a sore throat remedy. It has an interesting side effect. It increased his libido significantly. That means sandalwood perfumes do make you sexier.

Patchouli has a sweet, very strong, musky scent that is considered very sexy. On its own, it is the kind of scent you either love or hate, as it can be overpowering, but when blended into a perfume with other notes, it gives the perfume a sexier feel.

Ylang ylang has a strong, womanly scent. Ylang ylang can be overpowering but when used lightly or in blends, it is said to put one in a romantic mood. Ylang ylang perfumes are ideal for that romantic night out.

Jasmine perfume has a very sensual fragrance. Jasmine essential oil itself exerts an effect on a female hormones. It is used in aromatherapy to balance hormones and to boost confidence. Jasmine is popular in perfumes as it has a strong erogenous effect on people.

Then there is musk which on its own, is a potent masculine scent. With other scents, it might be barely detectable yet it gives the perfume bouquet an air of mystery. Even the lightest, most flowery perfumes contain a trace of musk.

Perfumes are often used like pheromones, for that aphrodisiac effect. Look at all the perfume ads. They usually center around romance, or seduction.

Going a step further, perfumes, also make you feel good about yourself. Many women buy perfumes for the sheer beauty of the fragrances. Perfumes can make you smell wonderful. They can make your shower a luxurious experience. You set out to face the world, knowing you smell simply fabulous and that gives you that confidence which is really sexy.

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How to Apply your Tanning Lotion

A great tan is associated with health and beauty. While a bronze look is desirable, especially in the summer or on holiday -- we all know the dangers of the sun's UV rays. Is a temporary tan worth the permanent sun damage, wrinkles, and skin cancer risk? Absolutely not!

You can save time and avoid these risks entirely with sunless tanning lotion. Today's self-tanners give you a deep golden tan, not the orange look of years ago.

Many new self tanning lotions are tinted and these are the ones I recommend. Not only do they give you an initial tan, you're more likely to apply the lotion evenly and avoid streaking.

First, take a shower or bath and exfoliate your skin. Pay special attention to your elbows, knees and any other rough spots. These areas will soak up the self tanning lotion and turn darker so you need to get rid of any dead skin.

Pat yourself dry and pin your hair up. Apply regular body or hand lotion to the dry spots you exfoliated. Allow yourself several minutes to completely dry.

You may choose to wear thin gloves to put on the self tanning lotion and avoid getting it on your hands, but applying it with your bare hands will probably result in a more even application. It's your choice.

Start applying the lotion from the bottom - up, bracing your foot on a chair or stool. Rub in lightly, you can always go back later and apply a second time.

Don't forget the areas that would tan naturally in the sun, the back of your legs, knees, arms, and neck. When applying to your face, remember to smooth it on your eyelids and into your hairline -- avoiding your eyes and hair. For people with sensitive skin, there are self tanning lotions formulated specifically for your face and will result in a more natural look.

If you will be wearing your hair up, don't forget to apply the self tanner on the back of your neck, and behind your ears to look more natural.

When you're finished, wash your hands thoroughly if you chose not to wear gloves, so your palms don't turn an unnatural color. Use a hand towel to dry them completely.

Before the lotion dries, it's more likely to tan what you're wearing too, so let yourself dry and put on some loose clothing. If you're going to be sitting on a cloth chair or couch, sit on a towel to avoid staining.

For a deep, dark tan before a special occasion, apply self tanning lotion before bed, and again in the morning. Before you go out, check yourself in the mirror for any streaks and correct them with a damp paper towel. Apply bronzing powder to your face and shoulders for a finishing touch, and hit the town!

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How To Look Your Best On Your Wedding Day

Every bride wants to look perfect on her wedding day. Selecting a dress that will make you look and feel great is an important first step.

But what happens when you look in the mirror and don't think you look quite as good as you could?


When this happens it’s not uncommon for brides to try quick-fix diets to help them get in shape. Unfortunately, many dieting brides make fitness mistakes that not only prevent them from reaching their goals but also cause unnecessary stress and sometimes even illness. Those are two things no bride needs! Here are five of the most common diet mistakes as well as some tips to help you avoid them.

1. Too much, too late.

One of the most important things to remember if you are trying to lose weight is to start early. For example, don’t try to lose 20 pounds two months before the big day. The key is to plan ahead so that you can lose the weight (or just tone up) gradually. So if you’re dream-wedding day includes you being in great shape, then include fitness as a “to-do” on your overall wedding checklist. That way it will be a priority in your wedding planning.

2. Setting unachievable goals.

Many women get engaged and begin imagining themselves drastically thinner or more sculpted. Be realistic with yourself. If you’ve never been a size 6 in your life, then it is probably unrealistic to think you can magically transform just because you are getting married. And, do you really want to look so different on your wedding day that most people (including your fiancé) hardly recognize you?

3. Radical diets or fitness programs.

Brides typically are short on time and long on to-do lists. This leads many to try unhealthy fitness programs or starvation diets. Don’t be tempted by diets that promise quick, drastic results with little effort from you. You should avoid any programs that suggest taking “diet” pills or eating unbalanced meals (like eating only cabbage soup for a week). And, don’t be lured into trying dangerous things, like laxatives.

4. Not exercising.

It’s very easy for brides to say “I don’t have time to exercise” or “I’m too tired to exercise”. But diet and exercise should always go hand in hand. Consider them to be like yin and yang. Without activity your body can’t burn as many calories. If you are very short on time, try to exercise in small 10-minute bursts throughout the day. And, keep in mind that little things help too, like taking the stairs or parking at the outer edge of the mall parking lot. Plus, if you are tired from all of your planning, exercise will help give you back some energy.

5. Skipping Meals

It’s not uncommon to get caught up in your planning and then realize at 9 p.m. (as your head begins to ache) that you haven’t eaten a thing all day. While it may not be an uncommon scenario, it is unavoidable. Not only is skipping meals unhealthy, it can lead to binge eating. That often means eating very fattening foods and/or overeating all at once. To avoid this, try packing light snacks to keep on hand throughout the day. Good examples include carrot sticks, cheese strings, peanut butter on crackers, etc.

Getting in shape doesn’t have to be complicated and it doesn’t require a lot of time. If you are trying to lose weight or firm up before your wedding, below are some sample plans to help you get started. Keep in mind that the most important thing is for a bride to feel good about herself. And no matter what size or shape, all brides are beautiful on their wedding day!

Sample Exercise FITscription:
20 – 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise (3 – 5 time per week)
Example: 2-5 minutes of brisk walking, 2-5 minutes of jumping jacks (repeat for 20 – 30 minutes)

Sample Meal Plan:
Eat 5-7 small meals per day (meals should include protein, grains, vegetables, etc. to meet the food pyramid daily requirements)
Example: Small, grilled, skinless chicken breast
Slice of whole wheat bread
Slice of cheese
Mixed Vegetables
Glass of Water (2 or 3 would be even better)

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How to Fulfil Your Dreams

The future belongs to those
who believe in the quality of their dreams.





According to Bill Gates there are 3 keys to success in any new venture:

1) Being in the right place at the right time. (You could well be already there!)

2) Have a vision of where the industry/business you're working in is going!

3) Taking Massive and Immediate Action! (It is time to act!)

Here are my 15 steps to fulfilling your wildest dreams...

1. KNOW YOURSELF. Know and accept your weaknesses and faults (we all have them), but even more so your strengths, abilities and gifts. Build on your strengths and try to minimize or improve on your weaknesses. An honest, objective analysis of yourself is the first step in preparing you for success and realizing your dreams. Celebrate you for just being you, a unique creation.

Aim for mental clarity about what you most want out of life. Think about it and write it down. If it's happiness, what do you mean by happiness: a sense of belonging, recognition, independence, love, money or security? If you don't know where you are and where you want to go with your life, how will you ever get there? Aim at nothing and you're sure to hit it.

2. GET PASSIONATE. Don't apologize for getting passionate. What excites you the most? If you are not enthusiastic and excited about what you're doing, your path in life, you'll never get others to share your dream. Once you find your passion, you will have found your POWER, MEANING and PURPOSE in life.

3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PASSION. Always be aware. Negative people will poison your dream faster than anything else. Motto: "If you can't be positive, shut up!" Try and stay positive...even in the face of negativity.

4. ACCEPT FROM THE START THAT YOU WON'T PLEASE EVERYONE. You're going to be misunderstood, misquoted, hurt some feelings, perhaps even lose some friends (for the time being). Motto: "What other people think of me is none of my business!" Repeat this statement to yourself, especially when you doubt or feel discouraged.

5. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. To thine own self be true. (Shakespeare's "Hamlet", act I.3.) This is supremely important, no matter what the world may think of you. The masses are conditioned to mediocrity and other people's success can make them not feel inferior for their own insignificant little lives.

Accept yourself. Learn from others--but don't be intimidated by them, or pretend to be someone you're not; because... "We are most effective when we're being ourselves."

6. DON'T BE SCARED OF MAKING MISTAKES. The only real mistake is one from which you learn nothing. Motto: "Far better to try something and fail, than try nothing and succeed!"

7. ACCEPT THAT IT WILL NEVER BE EASY. Realizing your dream may be the hardest, most uphill thing you'll ever do. A truth ... "You can't coast uphill."

The key ingredient in success is never giving up. Keep on keeping on with your quest. It has been said that "success is 99% made up of failures".

8. STAY HUMBLE. (no matter how successful you may be.) Don't ever think you've made it and arrived--there's always a lot ahead, more to do, higher mountains to climb. Motto: "The greatest way to do our thing has yet to be discovered!"

9. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF. There is incredible power in yourself (in the form of the unique human mind), but far more so in the forces of the Universe. Make them work for you by living your life in harmony with these natural forces. Like positive energy attracts like.

Enough "spiritual" thoughts! Back to the "real world" and you. Avoid developing an inferiority complex (Who am I, a 'nothing'?"). Don't be filled with feelings of self pity ("nobody likes me"), or think "I can't do it". These thoughts will steal your dream.

10. HAVE FUN. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems--don't get too solemn, or serious or too downcast when things go wrong (as they surely will from time to time). Take a leaf from Thomas Edison's book: "I never did a day's work in my entire life: it was all FUN!"

Laugh at life's funny moments... and there are plenty of them. "The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does." -J.M. Barrie

11. DEVELOP 'THE WILL TO LIVE'. There will be plenty of times when you'll face the death of your dream. When failures, disappointments, and criticisms come you need the will and faith to keep going. Remember: We learn far more from our failures than our successes, because failures show us what doesn't work. So, failure is just one step closer to ultimate success. Often the difference between failure and success is trying just one more time, picking yourself up off the canvas after being knocked down time and again.

12. DEVELOP 'THE WILL TO HELP AND SERVE OTHERS'. Success on its own (i.e., for its own sake) will pollute and corrupt you--it's a dead end street unless you have meaning in your life. The years of struggle breed fortitude and character. The gold may be an inch away from the seam, where your fellow miners have given up. You need to succeed for a reason, a purpose, a cause that's bigger than you! and IF (a very big if) you've fulfilled all the above requirements...

13. ALWAYS BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR OPPORTUNITIES. They are all around you. There are no permanent problems--only solutions, possibilities and opportunities. The Chinese word for 'crisis' means 'danger' + 'opportunity'.

14. If you truly believe in what you are doing, DEVELOP THE 'WILL TO SUCCEED' with absolute commitment. It is not enough to just survive, aim at being the best you can possibly be! Keep your dream big, bold and even outrageous--don't water it down or settle for mediocrity... even if others think you are crazy! Trust in your judgment, your intuition and your creative mind to overcome any obstacles. "Be bold and mighty, unseen forces come to your aid."

15. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM! Be patient. Don't be in too much of a hurry to achieve your goals and dreams. Be persistent and never quit. As the saying goes, 'Winners never quit and quitters never win.'

Always remember, when you think you've exhausted all your possibilities, you really haven't--there's always another way, a better way...and even more importantly, there's always another day!

Life is not a dress rehearsal, it's the main event. GO FOR THAT DREAM. It is within you and within your reach.

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Had Enough of Cheating?

Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let’s begin by taking a look at that before going any further.


Even though it always seems and is horribly unfair to any victim of infidelity, there are always two sides to every story.

The person who cheats doesn’t easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once and never repeat the mistake. Some will continue the practice until they feel satiated. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you are considering how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again.

The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one cheats are situations where the Cheater confesses. People who admit to cheating without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases it’s because they were completely frustrated with their life.

Regardless of the cause, Frustration is a powerful emotion that can cause people to seek escape. Some will escape by abandoning a relationship or family, others will escape by cheating and many just become abusive because they do not know how to handle what they‘re feeling. These are all bad choices brought on by the sensation that they have become boxed in to a situation that constantly frustrates them. Although unfortunate, sometimes the act of cheating brought on by frustration is a catalyst for both parties to come together in a productive way that wasn‘t previously possible.

The worst-case scenario for reconciliation involves people who cheat for selfish reasons. Although they may justify their actions with psychobabble, habitual Cheaters will emotionally destroy many partners, break families apart and go through a large number of relationships before they stop or simply run out of steam. These are nightmare partners that everyone should take extra caution to avoid. Unfortunately, they also tend to be extremely effective at deception and appear very desirable. Not surprisingly, these people are the hardest for cheating victims to walk away from.

The foremost consideration anyone who has been burned by cheating has to think about is the desire of the person who betrayed them for reconciliation. You cannot go to them; they have to come to you. Once they do, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for their actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight on to yourself.

It is important to be sure, you can live with their betrayal of your relationship before you go further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious circle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of damage they have or could have done.

It’s easy to believe that a Cheater cheats himself or herself more then anyone else in terms of losing the ability to enjoy a meaningful relationship. However, many Cheaters leave ruined lives in their wake. Whether it’s innocent children who end in a broken home or a former partner who is left emotionally destroyed, some one besides themselves often pays for what a Cheater does.

If you can move past forgiveness and making sure the Cheater understands how devastating their act was, it’s time for some serious work to begin on mending the relationship. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, once in a while meet ups or anything.

Apart from staring at internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbor’s yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things will never be the same between yourself and your partner again. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.

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Impact Of Viagra On Love And Relationships

Viagra was first introduced to the world in 1998 and it is fair to say that the world has not been the same since. The impact of this medication has been enormous, not just in the narrow area of treating erectile dysfunction (ED) for which it was approved, but also in the way we think of sex and sexuality, and even in the realm of relationships between men and women.

Millions of men in the United States have tried Pfizer's wonder drug, sildenafil, better known as Viagra, and there are thus millions of women who have also seen its effects on their husbands, boyfriends, and lovers. Many other millions of men and women wonder about whether Viagra can offer a solution for their own sexual and emotional problems or for the problems of their partners. We human beings are sexual animals, after all. And unfortunately, our sex lives are not always the way we want them to be. So it's no surprise that when sex goes sour, relationships suffer in other ways as well.

Everyone wants to know about Viagra, and many are interested in trying it, whether or not they think they have an erection problem. There are always a good number of Viagra questions, such as, "What happens when a young, healthy man with normal sexual function takes Viagra?" Or "Can a woman tell during sex that her partner has taken Viagra?" Or "Is it true that Viagra increases a man's sex drive?" Viagra quickly tapped into a set of wishful fantasies that mirrored our culture's hunger for certainty and the quick fix. Supported by stories that described elderly men restored to such sexual vitality by Viagra that they abandoned their wives in favor of younger women, a conventional wisdom arose that Viagra was a fountain of youth, a sure cure, the real deal. Baby boomers could now look forward to fabulous sex well into their nineties. Men shared Viagra stories with each other at cocktail parties or around the office water cooler.

"All we can say is 'Wow!'" says one man, and other men listening in wonder how their lives might be different if they also took the magic blue pill. Women too have been targeted to confirm Viagra's ability to create satisfaction and serenity within a relationship where frustration and friction had once been the rule. One of the most successful early Pfizer ads showed a series of couples happily dancing together after Viagra apparently cured the loss of rhythm in their relationship.

Viagra jokes became a staple of comedy acts on late-night television (Have you heard the one about the man who swallowed Viagra, but it stuck in his throat? He wound up with a very stiff neck!), thus ensuring its place in our cultural lexicon. Viagra tapped into both our fantasies and our embarrassment about sexuality in a way that no other drug had ever done. When, for example, was the last time you heard a joke about a new cholesterol-lowering medication?

Skillful marketing contributed to our perception of Viagra as the pill that put the "man" in "manly." Star professional athletes-vigorous men such as baseball's Most Valuable Player Rafael Palmeiro of the Texas Rangers and NASCAR driver Mark Martin-endorse the medication in widely seen advertisements. Other kinds of athletes use Viagra as well. Hugh Hefner, the aging head of the Playboy empire who is known for his bevy of beautiful blondes, gives Viagra credit for maintaining his pleasure quotient. Rumor has it that he provides bowls of Viagra tablets at his famous parties.

Yes, the drug is enormously powerful, and it can be a lifesaver for many men, but it has also turned a bright spotlight on previously hidden areas of sexuality and relationships. In particular, it forces couples to decide what is real in their relationships and what is not. I have come to see Viagra as providing a window into the psyche of men, and perhaps indirectly into the psyche of women as well, since women are not immune from unduly high expectations regarding the benefits of Viagra and its potential to provide sexual healing.

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Rules of Online Dating

If you’re bored of regular dating or you’ve heard of this thing called online dating and you’re curious to try it out, why not? Similar to dating you can still meet men, make friends and perhaps even more!


But online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it. Online dating may seem to be the simplest thing in the world but it is not. It should be viewed in all earnestness or things could go hay wire. Every game has its rules and unless you know all the rules you just can’t become a good player and eventually a winner.

Online dating is, to put is very simply a free dating service that with the help of a machine namely the computer via the Internet. That in itself makes the idea and the process a very novel one indeed. Hundreds of happy single people across the globe have been successful in finding suitable partners by the means of online dating.

The reason is pretty simple. It is very much the same reason that the internet itself became so popular. The Internet opens up a whole new world of communication and contact. Online dating is fast, you can have as much privacy as you want and it’s cheap!

In order to enjoy it and succeed at online dating there are a few rules to remember and they are:

• If you don’t know where to start internet dating, just hit some chat rooms of your interest. There you’ll be able to meet interesting people who have the same hobbies and preferences.

• You can either write your own personal ad or get a dating service to do it for you. It’s of course better if you can write your own personals to give it your special touch. Feel free to embellish on certain details but as much as possible be honest with what you put in it. It is of course important to remember that people will judge you depending on what you write so you might want to be careful about that.

• After you’ve met someone you think you’re interested in, get to know them better by moving into a private chat room with them.

• Don’t worry about making mistakes and goofing up when you’re trying out online dating. You are hidden behind the anonymity of the internet and you can erase your mistakes a lot easier than you could if you had goofed up in real life. So just go out there and chat up a storm with anyone who seems remotely interesting.

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Relationship's Problems

If you’ve never been in a relationship before than it’s no surprise that you wouldn’t know what to do. But don’t panic, being in romantic relationships can be very rewarding and you might actually enjoy it compared to dating and one night stands. However like everything else being in a relationship has its problems.

The way to enjoy a relationship is to try to avoid as many of these problems as possible. And when you can’t you have to be willing to work things out in order to salvage your relationship instead of just deciding that things are not working out at the first sign of trouble.

Romantic relationships can work but you have to put effort into making it work. The first thing to remember is that when you are in a relationship, it involves two people. And the most important thing you need to do in a relationship is to compromise. Learn that you can’t always have your way, but you have to know when to put your foot down. Giving and taking is part of life and is crucial to keeping a relationship successful. As a man it is vital that you figure out when you need to give. Over giving is a turn off because women will start to view you as a pushover. So just like dating, remember to be nice but not too nice.

Women also love men who are thoughtful so making dinner arrangements, surprising her with dates and romantic gifts also help keep the relationship afloat. Again you can’t do this too often or she will come to expect it. Worse she will assume that you’ve done something wrong and you would have created problems for yourself when nothing was wrong with your relationship in the first place.

The next part of maintaining romantic relationships comes from communicating with your partner. You have to understand that women and men communicate differently. A lot of relationship problems actually occur because of simple misunderstandings when the couples are unable to communicate with one another. Take the time to understand your partner and how she is feeling (especially when she is emotional and needs time to calm down). I’m not saying that you need to take the emotional rubbish that women dish out but you have to try to understand where she is coming from and deal with it appropriately and not just slam the door on your way out.

Of course the biggest problem that relationships deal with are jealousy and betrayal. It would help greatly if neither your or your girlfriend are cheating types of course. As for jealousy if your girlfriend is the jealous type, either dump her if you can’t deal with that, or work out an arrangement with her. Get her to understand that woman A is just a close friend or colleague and nothing more. If you have jealousy issues you might want to meet up with her guy friend and who knows, you could be best of friends. But if that doesn’t work out, the best way to deal with it is to try to get over the jealousy issue because if you continue to harp at it your relationship will fail and that guy would have won.

Romantic relationships will come across problems. This is normal and the only way for you to ensure that you can maintain your relationship is to avoid as many of them as you can is to not give up on it. If you don’t think you can commit to a relationship then its better not to get into one at all because it will come with a whole bunch of problems that you might not have been ready to face.

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Body Language When Dating

If you’re on a first date and you’re trying to figure out what Mr. or Ms. Potentially Right thinks about you, look downward.

“The key to a man’s heart isn’t his stomach. It’s his feet,” says Lisa Daily, author of “Stop Getting Dumped!” (Subtitle: “All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry ‘The One’ in 3 Years or Less.”)

As it turns out, the foot rule also applies to women.

“Watch the feet of the person you’re attracted to,” she tips. “People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to ‘line up’ with the other person. Where the toes point, the heart follows.”

When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date, trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks you’re hot (or not), body language is the smoking gun, my dear Watson.

“Even if we’ve got our game faces on, the body doesn’t lie,” Daily says.

In fact, studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal, according to Mari Smith, a relationship coach based in San Diego, California. The other 93% is nonverbal.

Tips & Clues

Men send out the following tips when they’re interested in you, according to Daily and Smith:

• Smiling.
• Extended eye contact.
• Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties, pulling up their socks).
• Upright stance or posture.
• Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock).
• Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs, cash, their cars).

“He may have one hand in his pocket, with his thumb sticking out, or tuck his thumbs in his belt,” Smith adds.

As for the so-called “fairer” sex, look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman:

• Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men).
• Leaning inward or toward you.
• Exposing her neck, hands or palms.
• Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully.
• Crossing and uncrossing her legs.
• Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass, straw, pen or cigarette. (Paging Dr. Freud…)

“Houston, We Have a Problem”

“For both sexes, there are also signs that things are not going well,” says Daily, who notes that distasteful dates, traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for “a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package.”

Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync. “He’s a slow talker, while she’s a thousand-words-a-minute,” she says.

Defensive body language—arms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area.

Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak.

“When someone is not interested in you, they will typically point their body and feet away from you and position themselves at a greater distance,” Smith adds.

Saying Goodnight…or Saying Goodbye?

As your date winds down, other cues foreshadow your relationship’s future.

“If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back, it’s a sign of discomfort,” Daily says. “The more uncomfortable your date feels, the bigger the pat. The other obvious, not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kiss—and getting a handshake instead.” (Ouch!)

Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date, with firm plans—not just “let’s do this again” or “I’ll call you sometime,” Daily says.

The Flirt Factor

Flirting with your date—and being on the receiving end—meets Sherlock’s criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship.

Daily takes it one step further, asserting that flirting is “absolutely necessary.”

“Flirting is how we communicate our interest—and how we connect emotionally before we connect physically,” she says. “Generally, flirting is harmless, but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the ‘flirtee.’ The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch. If she backs down, she was probably just flirting for fun. If she escalates the flirting in turn, she’s communicating interest.”

“Use attitude, voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you,” advises Nicholas Boothman, a communication specialist and author of “ How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less.” He encourages those he counsels to learn to “access—and rev up—your sex appeal, without going over the top.”

Translation?

Create chemistry by mirroring your partner’s physical presence and verbal behavior.

“When you synchronize your overall body language, your tone, the speed and volume of your voice, and even the type of words you use—as well as your attitude—people feel safe, familiar and trusting with you,” he tells.

Smith believes women have the edge—and a lot more fun—when it comes to flirting. (Sorry, guys…)

“Playful, lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women,” she says, “and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun. It certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interest—and make sure you’re sending the right message!”

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Save Your Marriage

Every marriage has its ups and downs, its rough periods. Even in the best of circumstances, there are going to be difficult times.

People change.

Circumstances change.

Emotions change.

Over time, the natural ebb and flow of everyday life places incredible pressure on a relationship.

Almost unnoticed at first, you begin to think thoughts that had once been unthinkable. "I love him, but I'm not in love with him. Not anymore." "I'm not attracted to her, not like I was in the beginning." "Maybe if we separated for awhile ..."

The skies can darken in a hurry.

But if you survive these darkest of times, you may find you emerge with a stronger, more trusting relationship than you ever imagined possible.

Here are a few tips that might help you toward that goal ...

Have a clear understanding of your expectations. Couples rarely take the time to discuss how the little things will work. What does romance mean to each of you? How will the finances be handled? How will your children be raised? What role will religion play in your relationship? What makes you feel loved? What hurts you? How will arguments be resolved? How will decisions be made? What do you need from your spouse, what does your spouse need from you?

Don't fight unfairly. There will always be disagreements. Deal with the matter at hand. Don't drudge up all your hurts and disappointments from the past. Those are different matters, to be handled separately, at a different time. Keep focused on the issue under discussion and avoid muddying the waters with generalized personal attacks ("You're always nagging." "You never do anything unless I tell you to do it first.")

Face the issues that are facing you. Hiding from reality never leads to a happy ending. If you're experiencing financial problems, admit it, get it out in the open.

Be honest with yourself. Take a step back and give yourself a good long look in the mirror. If your behavior is undermining your relationship (whether it's the way you communicate, or how you treat your spouse, or your personal destructive behavior) own up to it.

Take the initiative. Understand that waiting for your spouse to change first will likely result in no change at all. Actions come first. Thoughts and feelings follow. Change your behaviors and watch your spouse's behaviors change in response.

Rebuild compatibility. Time has a way of unveiling the differences between couples, especially when your marriage is in trouble. Seek out those interests you have in common with your spouse. Look for opportunities to share activities together. Perhaps it's ballroom dancing, or photography, or camping, or trips to the beach.

Remember what it was like when you were dating. What was it that first attracted you to your spouse? What made you first fall in love? How can those feelings be rekindled?

Keep your sense of humor. Life is challenging enough without having to live with a brooding, angry spouse. Laugh out loud the way you did when you were a kid. Happiness is a choice. Exercise it.

Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till ... well you know the rest. Unfortunately, for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life have doused its wonderful positive aspects.

Maybe it's time to rekindle the magic.

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Tips for enjoing your favorite wine

The primary connoisseurs of fine wine are oenophiles who are stringent about treating, serving and tasting wine. Then there are wine lovers and those simply appreciating wine.

For occasional enthusiasts, collectors and cellar owners, the essence of wine etiquette heightens the experience.

Determine Proper Temperature

Wine is altered by temperature and environment, putting the emphasis on proper storage. Keep red table wines standing in the dining room for approximately 24 hours in advance, for settling sediments, followed by room temperature. White and Rose wines require slight chilling of around 50’F or one hour in a refrigerator.

Sparkling wines including champagnes require longer chilling of a few hours. Temperature levels drown inconsistencies and enhance the taste. A handy tip is to allow 10 minutes for a wine in a refrigerator to chill and for the reversal, in room temperature.

Time The Uncorking

Uncorking a wine calls for basic guidelines. For red wines, remove the cork one hour in advance. Oxidation helps to experience the true flavor. The longer white wines are left open in room temperature, the more the loss in quality. Don’t uncork until just before serving.

Decant The Wine

It may appear pretentious to make such a lot of fuss, but there’s no denying that there is a whole new dimension to the taste. Red wine vintage and port wines are perfect for decanters as they build up fairly substantial bitter sediment at the bottom. Pouring slowly into a decanter therefore separates the wine from the sediments.

Decanting wine is also done for exposure to oxygen. Having been deprived of air and vacuum for years, air adds to the flavor of red wine. For uncorking use a container with an open mouth. The resulting chemical reaction exudes the aroma that is crucial for the tasting experience. For this purpose, red wine glasses have large rims. Having slowly decanted the wine, leave it for about an hour in room temperature. Eventually the difference in taste is unmistakable.

Pour The Wine

Wine etiquette dictates how a glass of wine should be poured. For bubbly wines that sparkle, pour along the side of the glass to preserve the all-important bubbles. Still wine is poured into the center of the glass allowing the flavor to float upwards.

Depending on the wine, never fill a glass more than two-thirds or halfway. On occasions when different wines are being sampled during a meal, the amount being poured needs to be even less.

Use The Right Glass

Highly diverse, wine glasses may prove confusing. Nevertheless they matter as they function with the temperature. The more intense aromas are better appreciated in glasses with wide but thin rims.

The opposite principle is true for white wine glasses. Narrower and more slender, the tulip shape is integral to the hallmarks of white wine. More blunt and less angular than champagne flute or dessert wine glasses, white wine glasses can be easily differentiated.

Follow The Drinking Rules

To the uninitiated wine etiquette may seem unnecessary. However it is an established fact that for the authentic experience of wine in all its subtleties, it is the only way...... Cheers!

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Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love.

Attraction usually involves an instant decision of like or dislike, based on our own subconscious criteria. If we meet someone in person, we tend to size them up physically.

If we meet through letters or phone conversation or internet chat, we tend to size them up, over a longer term, by how well they converse and how interesting (or complimentary) they are while we interact with them.

It is true that people can act however they want, be whatever they want to be, over the internet. But eventually the true person leaks through the cracks and we begin to see their true self. Moral of the story? It’s best to be your real self. You may eventually want to meet the person on the other end of the conversation.

On the other hand, when you do meet the ‘real’ person on the other end, remember that you have grown to like that person because of what’s inside their mind and heart. You have found a potential ‘soul mate’ who thinks as you think and feels much the same way that you feel.

No one is perfect. We all have our own flaws and shortcomings. The concept of finding the ‘right’ person is good. The concept of finding the ‘perfect’ person is improbable and discouraging, because ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.

The way this person looks, their physical appearance, isn’t as important as their inner looks, or soul. What we see is what we get, and hopefully the heart ranks the highest. We fall in love with someone’s soul, not the shape or size of their body. And although a certain number of things can be done to improve physical appearance, that shouldn’t be our main criteria or requirement for friendship or companionship.

We fall in love with their heart. With their inner self. With their true being. And that’s what matters most.

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